My dad was just in the hospital again. He came home last night, in very bad shape.
His doctor has decided that there's nothing further that can be done for him. They've called in hospice and last night they delivered a hospital bed to my parents' house for him.
I spoke to dad on the phone for a minute yesterday, and the only positive thing I can say about it is that he seemed to know who I was. Dementia has set in and a conversation is pretty much impossible.
I dare not visit until Gregg and I both test negative for Covid, probably next week. He may or may not make it that long, depending on how this latest crisis plays out. He's had ups and downs regularly over the past year, but I don't know how much bounce back he's got left in him.
At least now my mom will have the help she desperately needs to care for him.
And at least he can die at home, which is what he wants.
I'm not posting this looking for sympathy, but as a way to document what's happening for future reference.
My thoughts are with you. Hugs to all.
ReplyDeleteHugs from New Zealand. Pleased to hear your mother has the wonderful Hospice support.
ReplyDeleteAs someone whose father used home hospice, I would recommend moving him to a unit. The last few days can be extremely stressful. Just because he has dementia doesn't mean he isn't going to get himself up out of bed, and getting him back can be unbelievably stressful. I'm speaking from experience here. If he is suffering from dementia, he's not going to know where he is.
ReplyDeleteMy mom can't afford to put him anywhere. They have no money and in order to pay for a spot they'd lose the only asset they have--their house. :(
DeleteLooking for it or not, you have my deepest sympathy. So much coming at you all at once. Stay strong.
ReplyDeleteRegardless of the posting, our thoughts will be with you for peace and strength. If his wish was to pass on at home then good for him for being there many don't get their wish. He'll go and he's ready.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your Mom is getting some help. Take care of yourself and Gregg. I hope you recover soon so you can have some time with your Dad but if you can't make it, don't worry, he will be at peace. Hugs to you, Jennifer.
ReplyDeleteWishing you peace and hoping you & Gregg fully recover from covid and test negative in the very future. Big hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. Although Hospice does help, they aren't there much of the time; at least, they weren't for my husband or my dad. I hope your mom has some other help coming in too. It's a very hard time and I will be thinking of your family.
ReplyDeleteWhat a time it is for you. Sending you good thoughts and strength to help you get through this.
ReplyDeleteI know this is a rough time. I can tell you that when I assisted hospice nurses they were always very good and very compassionate. I"m glad your mom has help. If I could choose, I'd rather die at home.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
The passing of our own parents is always one of our most difficult experiences in life. I sent you my very best wishes. xx
ReplyDeleteI am so reminded of last year, when my Dad was in and out of hospital. He'd already had a hospital bed at home (and quite liked it!), and we were all doing what we could to make him comfortable and happy. Like everyone (I think), had he had a choice, I am sure he would have wanted to die at home, but in his case, it was not to be.
ReplyDeleteAs you say, with dementia setting in, it becomes nearly impossible to hold a conversation. But we know that to his last day, my Dad knew who we were, and we held hands and touched his face and kissed him, without knowing that he was going to die during that night, and that is some comfort.
It's hard for all of you, but at least you still have each other to pull through.
Love & hugs from your friend in Germany
Meike
X
My heart is always with you, Jennifer.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have better and peaceful days.
ReplyDeleteYou may not be posting this for sympathy but I am sending you a bucketful anyway. I hope that you test negative real soon so that you can get to see him before he goes.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Your lovely Christmas card arrived just this morning. Thank you so much.
I'm so glad you got it before Christmas!
DeleteThis has certainly been a rough couple of weeks for you. I know how hard this is as Michael and I just went through this with his dad. My heart goes out to you.
ReplyDeleteIt all must be so tiring, especially with covid.
ReplyDeleteOh, you may not be looking for sympathy, but you certainly have it. Hospice is a wonderful resource. How is Gregg, btw?
ReplyDeleteHe's great! We're both feeling totally normal and well.
DeleteThat is wonderful news, Jennifer.
DeleteThanks everyone for the kind words. xx
ReplyDeleteForgive me for the parrot comment, it was before I read this
ReplyDeleteIf I can help you with any hospice “ speak” let me know please
jgsheffield@hotmail.com
Hope you have some peace over Christmas Jennifer. X
ReplyDelete