Sometimes I think I need to take a break from social media. Aside from all the negativity floating around about the upcoming election, everyone presents the most perfect, blissful version of their lives on there and I'm left feeling like my own life is very small. Small and dull.
I know I should be grateful for all that I have. And I am. Usually. But every time I open Facebook or Instagram it's a constant stream of fabulous trips, engagement photos, new baby announcements, great new job announcements (that one really hurts), "we bought a house!" pictures and assorted "isn't life grand?!" types of posts. I hate the fleeting feelings of jealousy they inspire in me, and I'm ashamed of them.
I know that my life is good in a lot of ways. Quietly good, but still. I have a husband that I adore, and vice versa. Even after 10 years of marriage and 18 years total as a couple, we still look at each other in disbelief sometimes and wonder how we got lucky enough to find each other. We don't have a lot of money, but we make enough to not worry about how the bills will get paid this month, and we have a comfortable little nest egg stashed away in savings. And speaking of savings, when we finally decide to buy a house we have enough for a down payment, and we'll still have some cash in the bank for emergencies. We've put off buying a house because Gregg wanted to wait until he hit his five year mark without a cancer recurrence--which will be this December--and what a blessing it is that he's even still here with me. (I'm really ashamed to complain about anything considering the miracle that he's alive and well five years later). I may not like my job, but it provides an adequate salary and health insurance benefits for us while I look for something else. And we have our two dogs and our parrot, and they're a constant source of joy to us. I love those crazy pets of mine fiercely. I have a lot of friends. I'm healthy. I live in a place that's peaceful and safe, and how many people in the world will never know what that's like? I was lucky just by the sheer accident of birth.
So I know that I shouldn't mope or complain. I'm also aware that people put a highly edited version of their lives on social media and don't often mention their struggles, or disappointments, or the bad things that happen to them. And despite any twinges of jealousy I may feel, I'm always quick to congratulate others on their good fortune. To encourage them and to muster as many sincere good wishes for them as I can. I hope that counts for something. I want to be a good person. I want to remember my blessings each day, and not think about the things I feel like I lack in life. These feelings of being "less than" are a somewhat new phenomenon for me and are probably related to the issues I've had just lately with depression. (Which is getting much better, by the way. Likewise the anxiety is starting to dissipate, too. Thank goodness.) I think that, in addition to not complaining about work, I need to spend less time on Facebook and Instagram for a while.
How do you feel about social media? Does it add anything positive to your life, or does it increase feelings of dissatisfaction with it? I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this.