I was really touched that she wanted to drive two hours just to see and spend time with me. After my dad died my relationship with my mom broke down to the point that we're now estranged, and it's been hard effectively losing both my parents. Lately I feel sad about it a lot. It's nice having one blood relative left who seems to care about me. I was looking forward to showing Aunt Linda my house and garden and letting her meet Marco, George, and Poppy, and then spending the afternoon doing fun stuff together. I requested a personal day off weeks ago for it.
Then I woke up with a scratchy throat and a tickle in my chest on Sunday morning.
So, you guessed it...I'm sick. I felt so awful yesterday afternoon that I stopped on the way home from work and got a Covid and Flu at-home test. Both were negative. I'm guessing it's just a bad cold, but it's really knocked me for a loop. I really hated and hesitated to admit I didn't feel up to the visit, but last night I finally let her know. My aunt was super kind about it. She assured me we'd reschedule soon and told me to focus on feeling better. She also said that she's flying to Virginia this weekend to visit her son and his family and it might be wise to postpone and not risk getting sick herself right before her trip. Tonight she texted me just to check on how I was feeling, which was really nice. We agreed we'll try again in a few weeks.
I'm still taking my day off tomorrow since I've been feeling so bad, and I need to use up some personal days anyway. I'm not looking forward to it except as a chance to get some extra rest. Then this weekend is Mother's Day and the thought of that makes me feel even more low. My mom made it plain to me last year that my cousin and her kids are her family now (she calls the children her grandchildren) and that she doesn't need or want me in her life. Which was honestly just a relief at first, but as time goes along it's come to feel more like grief.
