Crimes & Misdemeanors

If our parrot Marco was a human boy, he would be living in juvenile detention. I have no doubt of it.

For one thing, there's his love of destroying others' personal property. As proof, I present to you......

Exhibit A:

I can't keep a hairbrush in the house without it getting ruined. He just loves to bite off the little plastic tips on the bristles. Despite my best efforts, he's adept at sneaking over to the brush and biting off a tip or two before I can stop him. Eventually he always gets them all. 

Exhibit B:

The rubber on the handles of my cookware is slowly getting chewed off and it's ruining my pans. We try hard to keep a close eye on things when he's out of his cage, but it's easy to forget about him when he's quiet--which is when he's plotting his next crime.

There's also the coffee cup he pushed off the counter last week, causing it to shatter on the floor. When I came storming in the kitchen to see what had happened he looked at me defiantly and said, "What's wrong with you?" That was the second or third piece of dinnerware he's destroyed this year alone! 

This morning in the 30 seconds it took me to go get the dogs' bowls for breakfast he jumped over to the kitchen counter and was standing over by the coffee pot, looking innocent when I came back in. He loves coffee, and you have to watch him when you're drinking it or he'll be face down in the cup, drinking for all he's worth, but I hadn't poured any yet so I thought everything was cool. I took him to the bathroom with me (he loves to hang out with me while I blow dry my hair and put on makeup in the mornings) and I noticed he had his beak firmly shut every time I looked at him. Eventually I realized that he was slowly chewing on something and that brown powder was falling from his beak into the sink. He was trying to swallow it all before I noticed him. Guess what he had found? Just guess.

A coffee bean. And he had eaten most of it by the time I figured out he had it. That bird is the devil!

"Helping" me brush my teeth yesterday morning.

He insists on supervising all morning activities in this house!