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Saturday, August 20, 2016

No complaining

I'm trying something for the rest of the month of August that's pretty radical, for me. I'm trying to not complain. At all. About anything, but especially my job. It's only been a few days, but it's been tough already. I've had to catch myself and shut up at least a dozen times.

See, my job is stressful. Pretty much everyone there agrees that it's not a great working environment, and most of the people I actually liked  have moved on to better jobs. And with each disappointment I've faced in my quest for a new job of my own, my bitterness has increased. Almost as soon as I get out of my car each day, I start mentally going over all the things I hate about being there. I usually don't say much out loud to my coworkers, but in my head it's a constant stream of negativity and whining. It finally dawned on me the other day that my attitude is only increasing my stress and making a difficult job even worse. And according to a ton of self-help and New Age kind of books and articles, I might even be drawing more negativity to myself as a result.

So I'm doing my best to stop. To be in the moment, and to take deep breaths and keep my mind clear and neutral. Sometimes I try to reframe a situation in a more positive light. Right now it feels hokey and I think, "Who am I fooling?" but I persist. And when coworkers are engaged in bitch-fests, instead of listening to it I just walk away.

So that's my self improvement project at the moment. Has anyone else tried something similar to deal with a stressful situation? And if so, how did it work for you? I'd love to hear your thoughts!



20 comments:

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  2. Be careful,in Future you might find yourself saying "Oh how I love this job; if only I could come in an hour earlier each day!".

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  3. hahahahahahahahahah Cro !

    Yes, I have done that, pretend I was happy. When I started having so much trouble with my soon to be x, It sounds weird and fake but I would say today is a good day, the grass is really green, the flowers are so pretty, I can smell the bakers at the market, anything at all. Just anything positive. Sad is easy positive is hard when you are in a valley. It is/was so easy to be sad or depressed.
    I bought myself flowers every week. I would do something nice for me everyday. Didn't have to be big just anything positive.
    It sorta' worked I found I was happier. I think when you are upset or feel unhappy it sticks to you. So you need to change the karma (?) around you ?
    I am not saying this right but for me pretending sometime works til you shake the glue of unhappy.

    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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    1. I agree that when one is upset or unhappy it seems to stick and draw even more negativity to oneself. I understand what you mean and thank you for the comment.

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  4. It is important to be positive. Rather than sitting around moaning, it's probably best to just get stuck into work. It's so easy to blame others for one's feelings of negativity or stress but we ourselves have the power to make things better - to be proactive and to count our blessings. After all, you are not in Aleppo.

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  5. Positive thinking promotes positive energy, you take control and things can definitely change for the better.

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    1. That's my feeling about it, too. It seems like when one is on top of the world more and more good things are attracted to you, and the opposite is true, too.

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  6. Yes Jennifer, I have done this and it changed my life. I started positive thinking, not in relation to a work situation, but in relation to something more personal with my mother. From that moment on things got better between us, I thought positively, stood up for myself, but ceased arguing and having negative thoughts and adopted a more positive attitude which I have been following ever since. I also read a book called Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers which focuses on positive thinking. I still refer to the book from time to time.

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    1. I have heard of that book. I'll look for it today when I go to work. I appreciate your perspective on this Rachel!

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  7. I think you are on to something!

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  8. I sometimes fall into obsessive thought patterns and breaking those can sometimes be tough. Usually a conscious effort to change will work eventually. Not complaining about anything, even if just for a short while would be a good thing for just about everyone.

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  9. I admire you for trying something that is certainly not easy, and I hope you'll not be too disappointed with yourself if there should be an occasional setback.

    Were it not for my resilience and ability to see positive aspects even in seemingly completely negative situations, I don't know how I would have coped with finding my 41-year-old, healthy husband dead on the floor of our living room upon coming home from work almost seven years ago.
    There was nobody to blame, nobody to whine or complain to, and so I did what I usually do - went on with things, with my life, and I am not afraid anymore to tell people that, as paradox this may sound, it has changed for the better ever since (not that it was bad before!).

    Work has been very stressful and not in a perfect working atmosphere for me in the past, too, but somehow I always managed to concentrate on the actual tasks without being too upset by what my colleagues or bosses did (or did not) or said.
    The workday passes so much easier and better if the job is done with a smile - not always easy, I know, but even the most tedious and laborious jobs can give a level of satisfaction if we know we've done well.

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    1. I don't know how you found the strength to go on after the sudden death of your husband. That must have been devastating. I'm so sorry.

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  10. I've made some work environments better by going my own way. If something needed to be done and everyone was supposed to share the work and no one did a thing, I got up and got started. I like to lead by example, rather than nagging other people to get off their butts. I never pretended that everything was wonderful, but I kept my feelings to myself for the most part and only let them out when I was in danger of exploding because of the negativity.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. There is so much negativity at my job that it's exhausting. The job I had before this one was completely different. Everyone was kind and friendly and we worked together as a team. I'm never going to be happy in such a poisonous atmosphere, but I'm trying to handle it better while I continue to look for a better situation.

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  11. I do hope that your positive attitude will make things better for you.
    If it's such a poisonous atmosphere, it sounds as though your co-workers must feel very much the same as you do, Jennifer. Is it not possible to all sit down, air your grievances, discuss the matter and work towards a happier atmosphere?

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    1. We have so much turnover (big surprise, huh) that it's hard to do anything. And the problems start at a higher level than just our store. I'm not sure there us any fixing it to be honest.

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  12. You are taking your medications and that is a good thing. I know it is not easy and some days are tougher than others but if you are positive you in return will attract positive and happy people.
    A very big hug to you Jennifer :) xx
    Greetings Maria x

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