Sunday, June 3, 2018

Lazarus stinketh

A second quick blog post today to tell you about something that happened at the funeral yesterday.

A pastor (Southern Baptist) who knows my aunt was called upon to speak at grandma's service and again at the gravesite. While we sat in the 90 degree heat of midafternoon under a tent at the cemetery, the pastor was droning on and on about how all believers would have new, glorified bodies in heaven after Jesus comes again, and the dead would be raised from the grave and would fly to heaven in the Rapture to live again for eternity, and on and on...and then he started telling the story of how Jesus brought Lazarus back from the dead.

He described the tomb being opened, and the Lord calling Lazarus forth four days after his death, and I swear to you all that I think in the middle of this rambling narrative the preacher said, "..and Lazarus stinketh". I quickly looked at Gregg to see if he had heard it too, but apparently not. He told me later that his mind had started to wander and he wasn't really listening, damn it! We had a good laugh about it once we got home, though.

I wonder if I heard the pastor right? Southern Baptists are definitely weird enough to say something like that at a funeral with a straight face and complete seriousness. Does anyone know if it's an actual verse in the bible? About Lazarus smelling bad? Maybe I misheard the man, but I don't think so.

Funerals down South. Haha!

32 comments:

  1. Oh My Goodness !

    cheers, parsnip

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, yes. I looked it up, but quit reading at "stinketh."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Martha was apparently just keepin' it real!

      Delete
  3. Of course that is the verse! The people were trying to explain that Lazarus was truly dead, not in a coma or in a deep sleep, he was already beginning to smell. Lazarus was raised from the dead.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey! I should have put a smiley face on there, so you wouldn't think I was a know it all or something! Believe me, I have spent some time in Southern Baptist churches and I know a thing or two about being "tickled" when the preacher sometimes gets carried away! I hope God will forgive me! :-)
      There, put that smiley face in there!
      That first comment above? I heard a great sermon on that once, so I was echoing that!

      Delete
  4. http://biblehub.com/john/11-39.htm
    Yep. He probably did stinketh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably so! Like Tom, I wonder if he ceased to stinketh after Jesus brought him back to life?

      Delete
    2. OK, that web page is fascinating! All the ways that verse has been translated -- it's pretty amazing. In any case, though, that seems like an awfully earthy thing to read at a funeral service.

      Delete
    3. And Martha did say unto her brother, Lazarus: "Verily, my brother, thou dost stinketh as the swine, and offendeth all who pass thy way. Get thee to thine bath, thou foul beast, and wash."

      Delete
  5. I'm very sorry for your loss. The story of Lazarus is often read at funerals to comfort Christians regarding the second coming of Christ and the resurrection.

    John 11:38-40 "Jesus, once again deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. “Take away the stone,” Jesus said. “Lord, by now he stinks, said Martha, the sister of the dead man. “- It has already been four days.” Jesus replied, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”…

    Lazarus' sister, Martha, was merely stating a practical concern. I read the entire Bible at age 12 and several times since. Do people no longer study/read the best-selling Book on earth? I'm Buddhist & it's my favorite book ever. xo

    ReplyDelete
  6. it doesn't take long to stinketh in middle eastern heat!

    ReplyDelete
  7. It depends on the version of the Bible: you either get stinks or stinketh. I bet that stinketh is King James. When my dad died, the pastor (Lutheran) told a weird story about a serial killer. Afterwards, my nephew said he thought it was a story from Reader's Digest. Years later, I looked up the story with my friend Google. There really was such a person as the pastor named him, but he didn't get the story right. I was appalled at the time that the pastor would tell such a stupid story and even more appalled now that I know he got it wrong. At least he didn't say "stinketh."

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh My Goodness... I would have ripped into him and got him fired (?) what an awful paster.

      Delete
    2. This guy also got in some words about "everlasting punishment in hell" for those who are not "saved". I thought it all highly inappropriate for a funeral sermon.

      Delete
    3. That is inappropriate. The pastor at my dad's funeral was talking about the serial killer being saved because he became a Christian. My parents didn't attend church, so I think it was a bit of a dig at them, or maybe the pastor was just stupid and used the same story at every funeral.

      Delete
  8. Crikey ..... it seems you did hear the Pastor correctly. Proves you were concentrating on his message. Not easy on a hot day like that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I listened closely to everything he said, at the service in the chapel and the graveside service. He was a terrible reader, in my opinion. He managed to make the 23 psalm sound dull, and it's usually one of my favorites.

      Delete
  9. He sounds like the same Pastor who was at Prince Harry's recent wedding. He went on a bit too (but a different subject).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. African American pastors are MUCH better at delivery and getting everyone excited. This was some boring white dude with gelled hair and a crooked bow tie.

      Delete
  10. I think I would have done a 'double take' too and struggled to keep my composure. I am most irreverent.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too, Sue. I wanted to laugh but stifled myself.

      Delete
  11. Did Lazarus ceaseth to stink when resurrected? I hope so for the sake of the family.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh - My - God! And you didn't hear incorrectly!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Perhaps Lazarus stinketh because he farteth and wetteth his robes. Good old Jesus for bringing him back from the dead. Shame Jesus is never around after any of America's school shootings or in the ignored Saudi Arabian war upon Yemen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Southern Baptist Jesus doesn't care about any of those things.

      Delete
  14. Sometimes a little laughter at a funeral can help with the sorrow.

    ReplyDelete