Wednesday, August 26, 2020

The ugly cry

 I'm sitting here sobbing like a baby. It's a real, true "ugly cry" and my face is a mess.

I went to the vet's office this afternoon to pick up Ginger's ashes. The local company that handled the cremation made everything so nice. The container that they put the ashes in was so pretty, and there was a sympathy card, and best of all they had made a little plaster cast of her pawprint. I sat in the car and sobbed.

Then when I got home I had a message from a friend that I used to work with at the bookstore telling me to go and look on my front porch. There was a gift bag with a beautiful hand crocheted shawl for me and another sympathy card, and the card said to consider the shawl a hug from her and Ginger. I really sobbed then. I can't believe the timing....that she left the gift on the same day I picked up the ashes. 

I'm so grateful for all the kindness I've been shown as I grieve for my girl. My heart is full to overflowing. My eyes, too.





35 comments:

  1. awwwwwwwwwwww. nothing wrong with grieving for your ginger. cyber hugs from blogland for you!

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    1. I hate the grieving process. I'm so tired of crying and being sad. I was so glad to go pick up the ashes and get that over with.

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  2. You are so nice, and had the nicest dog. She's running up there...
    And that shawl is a beautiful hug from Mary Ann. Beautiful work.

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    1. Thank you Joanne. Ginger really WAS a nice dog...and smart, and so loyal and protective of us. She was a once in a lifetime dog!

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  3. That is so sweet. Let it all out I say. They did the same thing with my second dog Babs. But the paw print was on a sympathy card though. I kept the ashes for about a year, then ended up spreading the ashes at her favorite part of the lake. I'm am sure she is up there still running around. I also spread my Starbooty's ashes at the lake too.

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    1. I'm still not sure what to do with the ashes, but I've put them away and I'll think about it later.

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    2. That's what I did, till it dawned on me. And nothing wrong with keeping them indefinitely either.💖💖💖

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  4. What a hard thing to do, picking up her ashes. It's wonderful to have the cast of her paw print. And the gift from your friend is so sweet! You are right about the timing, it was perfect. The shawl is beautiful. It is good to cry and get it out. A lot of people care about you.

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    1. I wish I could get through a whole day without crying. Maybe I'll dry up soon. :) Thanks Bonnie.

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  5. They really have done a beautiful job; the paw print is a lovely idea. Let the tears flow, I say. xx

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    1. I was really, really touched by that cast of her paw print. That will be something to treasure forever.

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  6. We are surrounded by lots of love in blogland
    It helps

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  7. So beautiful, You go right ahead and sob your sorrows away.

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    1. Yes, everything the pet cremation place did was just so lovely and thoughtful. It's nice to feel like caring people took care of her for the final time.

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  8. Picking up the ashes are so hard. The place We have gone to places the ashes in a simple black box with their name. Also a paw print in on paper. When we had to go at the specialty vet at 3 am with Hamish one morning they sent us a clay paw print a week later. I was crying so hard. so I can tell you that after some the the hurt does not cut into your heart everyday. Cry your tears out.
    xx

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    1. Thank you Gayle. I've thought about you and Hamish a lot during all of this. I know you understand and that helps. xx

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  9. Aaaw, Jennifer, I really wish I could give you a hug. And please cry all you want - it is good for you, and who cares what you look like afterwards? Besides, your face can never be really ugly!

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    1. You're so sweet! Thank you for the kind words and the unfailing support. I woke up this morning with huge puffy places around my eyes, I don't know if it was from allergies or all the tears. Probably both.

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  10. You're surrounded by a lot of good people, Jennifer.

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    1. You know, I really am. I couldn't believe that Mary Ann crocheted that shawl for me. We were friends at my last job, but not super close or anything, and that was so incredibly kind and thoughtful of her!

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  11. Thinking of you. Understand your tears having gone through it too many times. Lovely to have Ginger's paw print. DS1 and family will go through this tomorrow when their much beloved English Lab, London (our grand-dog), will be crossing the Rainbow Bridge to meet up with Ginger. May they have a great run together. Free of pain. And weren't we so, so lucky to have had them in our lives.

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    1. Please pass along my condolences to your son and his family! It's so very hard to lose a dog. I hope Ginger was there to meet up with London and that they had a grand romp together!

      Yes, we were lucky to have them in our lives. In fact, the beautiful sympathy card we got from our vet said "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard". I really am so grateful for the 13 years we had with our girl!

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  12. When you are down and sadness is so heavy in your heart, the kindnesses that are shown lifts you up and you know that the caring of others will get you through.

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    1. Friends make sorrows bearable. I don't know what I would do without mine, and I include all my blog friends when I say that. :)

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  13. What a beautiful gift from a beautiful friend. That shawl is the perfect thing. I am sure her love is in every stitch and you will cherish it forever.

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    1. It was a beautiful gift, and I was astounded that she made it for me. As I said to another commentator, we weren't especially close friends, just good work mates. I'm planning to invite her over for a social distancing glass of wine on my porch when the weather cools down. Her gift touched me deeply.

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  14. What beautiful mementos. I love the paw print. That's an extra-special touch, isn't it?

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    1. Steve, that paw print just slayed me. It will be something I cherish forever, and it was so wonderful of the cremation place to do that for us.

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  15. What a wonderful friend. And crying like you did is a good thing I think. It helps to get it all out, it is part of the process. Hopefully your first week back hasn't been too bad.

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    1. The first week back hasn't been too bad at all. We can't allow people in the front of the building, last minute registration has been strictly limited and has taken place in the gym, so for the first time ever I've had a first week back that didn't involve much work at all! Mostly I spent the week answering the phone occasionally, but being pretty idle the rest of the time. Over half of our students opted to do virtual learning only. It's going to be a strange year.

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  16. How very nice. You will keep that shawl a very, very long time.

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  17. I love the paw print too. A special reminder of your girl. I would have cried too.

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  18. What a lovely thing MaryAnn did there! There are so many good, kind people in the world. We should consider them more often. And having a good old cry about Ginger cannot be a bad thing. Thinking of you Jennifer.

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