Mixed feelings

 It's a beautiful sunny day here, the nicest we've had in ages. I love seeing blue sky after so much rain and all the dreary gray days. Although it's still cold out, today's the first day it's felt like spring is on the way. I'm so ready for it this year!

Late last night my left arm started to hurt from the vaccine shot. I couldn't sleep on my left side because of it and every time I rolled over in my sleep it woke me up. I also had a couple of nightmares which is unusual for me. Stress dreams, yes, but not nightmares. It may have been a result of the painful arm, or maybe it was a side effect from the vaccine itself. Either way, it's  a small price to pay for getting protection from Covid. I feel fine today aside from the sore arm.

I'm feeling a bit embarrassed by getting vaccinated so soon when so many people are still waiting for a chance. I want to tell friends about it (because it's exciting!) but I have this vague nagging feeling that I've somehow done something wrong. So many people who by rights should be ahead of me in line are still weeks or even months out, and I feel guilty about that. I've been assured that I'm being silly to feel this way. Here's how it worked out. 

A friend of Gregg's works in a large medical building here in town, and they're offering eligible people (patients and employees) the vaccine. They have to thaw out enough each day to meet likely demand. Some people fail to show for appointments, and (this blew me away) over half of the employees haven't had their first shots yet and are hesitating out of fear. So rather than risking having to throw away precious doses, the administration has quietly encouraged staff to bring in family members late in the afternoon to use up whatever's left. Of course, this is a friend, not family, but he knows about Gregg having had lung cancer and only having one lung. He's seen the devastation Covid can inflict on healthy people with no underlying issues, and he was quite adamant in inviting Gregg to come get his shot. Then he was kind enough to insist that it was perfectly okay for me to come, too. So I wasn't getting in line ahead of anyone, simply using a shot that might have ended up in the trash. 

Still, I'm very conscious of what a privilege it is to be getting the shots so early. I probably won't be shouting it from the rooftops, even though it made me want to jump for joy just out of sheer relief! I wish all my friends and all my family could get their first shots today (I include all you reading here when I say that) but as every person gets their turn we're one step closer to protection for us all.