A week from tomorrow is the last day of school. For the first time in the four years I've worked there, I'm feeling dissatisfied with my job and eager to get away from it for a few weeks. Yesterday morning was particularly stressful. Just like every day in the last few months, I was doing the job of three people (at least) while those particular people were hanging out in each others' offices, gossiping and laughing loudly from behind their shut doors, having a seemingly grand old time and not so much as lifting a finger to answer the phone.
The day had already gotten off to a bad start. Due to a "miscommunication" one of the assistant principals went off on me for something that wasn't my fault. (The "miscommunication" was that she hadn't bothered to read an email that went out to the staff a few days prior. I forwarded it to her again to show her that I had done the right thing. That really seemed to piss her off....like I wasn't respecting her authority enough!). It was really upsetting. I'm one of the few truly conscientious people up there and it hurt my feelings that she treated me the way she did. And then this happened:
Although thankfully, she wasn't around when I cried. But I'm sure she noticed later because my face gets puffy and red and my eyes go bloodshot and swollen at the first hint of tears. Also, if anyone out there knows of some method to stop yourself crying when you need to hold it in for a while, please, please drop a comment below and tell me about it. I hate crying at work or in front of other people more than almost anything!
Then the rest of the day was just me feeling excluded (which is typical) by the other office people and of course left to do others' jobs while they f*cked around and socialized. I was so discouraged by it all. I've complained to the principal a couple of times about some of the behaviors that directly impact me, and he'll go set things right in the moment, but nothing ever changes. I suspect that he hates confrontation and managing conflict, and while I understand it (and appreciate what a nice guy he is) that's not a good quality in a leader.
I'm far from alone in my dissatisfaction at the school, and the lack of accountability among the staff is the number one problem, in my opinion. I think the principal is thinking of moving on, anyway. He's finishing up a doctorate in December, and one day he quietly handed me a letter and asked me to scan it through to his email. It was a letter of recommendation to another school district. (It doesn't escape me that he chose me and not his secretary to do that for him. He knows I won't mention it).
Whatever, but I'm so sad that the school job that I love is being tarnished like this. I've begun casually looking at openings elsewhere in the district, and I'm thinking of moving on. It would be nice to make more money, anyway.