My Blog List

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

I need to get this off my chest.

I would just like to remind everyone that behind every blog is a person with feelings.

When someone becomes a friend to me through this blog, I consider them true friends, even though we may never get to meet in person. I share tiny little bits of my life, and you do the same, and we get to know each other, and there's a certain level of trust and respect that I try to maintain. And of course, the real story of me, of Jennifer, is a whole lot bigger than what I choose to write about here. And even though to most of you I just exist as some words on a screen, let me assure you that I am a real person with a heart. When there's sudden silence here, or when I'm unfollowed by people without a word of explanation, it hurts.

I obviously disagree with some of my readers about politics and religion, among other things....but I try not to let those kinds of differences get in the way of friendships, online and in "real" life. It seems that a few people here just couldn't do the same. So be it. But don't think I don't notice, or don't care.

So let me just say a few things, loud and proud, and then nobody can say they didn't know what they were getting when visiting Sparrow Tree Journal:

I'm a liberal, a freethinker, a feminist, and an atheist.  I call myself a secular humanist, and to quote the Dalai Lama, my only religion is kindness. I love my gay friends, my brown and black friends, and my immigrant friends. I believe in science and reason and progressive ideals. I consider myself a citizen of planet Earth, and I think my responsibility to be a decent human being should take precedence over my nationality or race or culture. I do the best I can to treat others gently, overlooking their faults whenever I can, because goodness knows I need the same forbearance in return. I fall far short of perfect every day of my life, but I do the best I can. I try to assume most other people do, too.

If any of the above offends you, please feel free to click the "unfollow" button now and I'll know why. And that's fine. But don't be my friend for months or possibly years, and then suddenly disappear without a word of explanation, leaving me fearing I may have inadvertently said something that was taken the wrong way or out of context.

Now that that's off my chest, and to offset the negativity of this post, here's a pretty camellia blooming in my back yard:





44 comments:

  1. i wish there will be more Jennifers in the world.

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    1. More Yaels would be better!

      Thank you, my friend. <3

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  2. I promise to NOT stop following you for the traits you describe (really they're why I'm here).

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  3. Have you been losing them? I cannot imagine anyone other than a Trump supporter unfriending you, and with friends like that... I deserve to lose them, but I seem to be getting more. Strange.

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    1. I think it was Trump supporters. One in particular made me sad.

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  4. Very eloquently stated. It is a bit weird as because the reason I am reading this is because of what you list above.

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    1. Thank you Andrew. All the supportive words mean a lot to me.

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  5. Jennifer you will always be my blog friend and I think you know that already and we have never left each other and we have spoken about this recently and I still love you and your blog and I hope (and pretty well know) the same goes for you and mine.x

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    1. This is all true. I was so relieved last week when we talked this over on your blog. I am your true friend, and you are mine!

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  6. Have you lost some Blog friends ? I was going through some health problems (when am I not ?) and didn't deal with the blog and son installed a new computer. I lost about 7 friends ? took me forever to get them back. John was one of them.
    I hope this is what happened to you. Hope !

    I like who you are and aspire to be what you wrote except the atheist part. I don't believe in religion for the most part but I believe in something more than ourselves.
    Plus here is a huge laugh, I am a Conservative Democrat. OMG ! What the heck is that. But that is me.
    I do not know why people left but all I can say is Bless their hearts. . . . .
    If you are from the south then you will know what this means.
    Enjoy reading your blog and hope you and I can keep on our blogging friendship.
    The world does need more Jennifers as Yeal wrote.

    cheers, gayle

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    1. For some reason I left off .... I hope this is what happened to you. Hope.. I hope you were lost in blogger and they will find you again.

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    2. I'll never forget how kind you were when my friend's baby died back in January. You offered me good advice about supporting her and I appreciate it. I never thought you had left me, and I hope you never will! ❤

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  7. I'm not sure why anyone would unfollow your blog, though I have unfollowed a few myself (not yours, obviously) and they fall into one of two categories: blogs i followed to come back to later, only to find they didn't interest me. Or, as you indicated, those hyper-partisan bloggers who have no interest in an open dialogue with progressives like us. If thats's the case with those that unfollowed you, then it's no big loss. It's like that old quote: Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter :-)

    I think I need to steal this idea from you in light of recent events. It seems i ran afoul of a certain blogger's militant offspring. Very upsetting for a couple days...but I know who I am, and you know who you are. And I know who you are, and you're awesome! When I disappeared for a while and wasn't sure if I wanted to come back to blogging you were the only one that noticed/cared.

    I hope that getting this off your chest made you feel better...you might even want to write this in a side box so new readers know what you and your blog are all about. And if they don't like it... to hell with em ;D


    Hope you have a happy Thanksgiving!

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    1. Chris, thank you for sharing your thoughts here. I like your blog and would be sad if you stopped posting. I know you're having a difficult time right now and I want you to know that you have friends wishing the very best for you!

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  8. Kindness is a good religion to have.

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  9. Dear jennifer, I very much like the way that you expressed what you expressed. I am thankful to have recently started following you, even though I don't see my avatar picture amongst your followers. I'm just glad that blogger lets me know when you've got a new post, because I would not want to miss any. I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving.

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    1. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Thank you for being here.

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  10. Well said, Jennifer. It's a great pity that more people don't think as you do.

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  11. I would just like to remind everyone that behind every blog is a person with feelings.

    Thank you dearheart xx

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    1. I treasure your friendship, John. I'm so glad I discovered your blog and the community of bloggers that follow you. Going Gently is a daily part of my life. I love you and the Prof and all your furry family!

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  12. That's a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing it. I'm with you on everything but the atheism, but if kindness is your "religion," then I say, go for it. We need more Christians who make kindness part of their religion.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I think some of my comments about some so called Christians and their atrocious behavior lost me a couple of friends. But I hate hypocrisy more than most things.

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  13. You had me at "my only religion is kindness" :) The world needs more people like you. I'm new here but from the first post I read I was impressed by what a lovely young woman you are.

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    1. That's awfully nice of you to say! You're very welcome here.

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  14. I only add blogs to my read list after I decide they are a blog which adds quality, interesting views and sometimes some fun to my on line time.

    If I leave it will be because you haven't posted for a year or I have messed up with Google/Blogger or, perish the thought, I am dead.

    Ms Soup

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    1. I hate it when a blog goes silent with no explanation. I always fear the worst.

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  15. The only people I've had to 'unfollow' (2) have been religious maniacs. One in particular went totally crazy. I think 'secular humanist' sounds much like myself. I wish you strength.

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    1. You're among one of the first friends I made here. I know our views on religion are very similar. And you know I love your blog!

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  16. Like you, Jennifer, I do not always agree with what I read on other people's blogs (just like they probably don't like everything I write). Sometimes I choose to voice my opinion in a comment, but more often than not, I admit to shying possible conflict and just keep my mouth shut. On my own blog, I usually avoid the three "no-nos": Sex, religion and politics. The one time I did have a remotely political post (reviewing "The Audacity of Hope", Barack Obama's great book I still love), I had someone real crazy comment. That person was not a follower of my blog, and I didn't want him or her to be one!

    People stop following blogs for many reasons. Sometimes, like angryparsnip says, it is not even their doing but a bug of blogger itself. Sometimes, like I have done in the past, we unfollow because we find we have taken on too many, and do a spring cleaning of our reading list. I have stopped reading a handful of blogs over the past year or so because all they were on about was promoting companies (I don't believe in getting paid for your personal blog) or stuff that does not interest me (such as crafting and nothing else - very nice and commendable, but not my world).

    Have I told those people that and why I was going to unfollow? No, I'm afraid not. Some have stopped following me and I'll never know why, but I don't really mind - it's a free (?) world :-)

    Your blog is great, and if anyone stops reading it because of difference of opinion, that's their problem, not yours. My advice to you is to forget about the un-followers and be happy about the many good people who DO read your blog, and are your friends!

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    1. Meike, it wasn't simply a matter of losing a follower or two--people come and go and I'm fine with that--but someone who was a bit more than a casual follower. To be dropped without a word of explanation felt awful but this post has opened my eyes to how many friends I still have here. I feel better now.

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  17. I first came here because I liked your comments on other blogs and here I got to know you even better. You are a kind and lovely person, Jennifer! You always have a nice, kind word for everyone. You are intelligent and have a lovely sense of humour which I love!
    For all this I mention and for all the above you write; that is why I am here.
    Greetings Maria xx

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    1. Maria, you are probably the sweetest person here. I'm always so happy to see you commenting! Thank you for being the lovely woman you are, and my friend. 💕

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  18. I also came from another blog after reading your comments. As you can see I don't blog myself, but I look forward to catching up with my " friends" while I eat my breakfast. You have been on my favourites bar for quite a while now and I check you out every morning! Being a " follower" doesn't always occur to me, but I will join your gang toute suite!

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  19. PS. I have 2 dogs, one of which appears as his puppy self in the thumbnail. He is 3 now, and due for a bath this morning after our walk as we are off to the groomer this afternoon. ( If I do the bathing it costs half what it would otherwise) I love the look of Ginger in the sidebar. I would love more dog pics/stories. x

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    1. I will gladly share more pet photos and stories! I have about 1000 pictures of them on my phone! Haha!

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  20. At first the tone and message of this post made me think you had been hurt by my "Florence" blogpost - as if I had disrespected you or something like that. As I read on, it was a relief to discover my initial fear had been misplaced. Happy Thanksgiving Jennifer!

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    1. Oh my goodness, no! I loved your Florence post! And you're another person I consider a real friend, so don't drop me without a word of explanation, ok? :)

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  21. I don't follow a blog unless I have an interest in it. Yours qualifies. It has a compassionate outlook, respect for life and labor, sound thinking and excellent writing. You may rely on my continued subscription.

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    1. What kind words, thank you for them. I'm so glad you're here!

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  22. I am terribly behind in my blog reading...your self description is lovely and spot on...I might have to steal it! I don't have a blog (one day) but I do so enjoy reading yours.

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