I've always thought it awful how quickly a death in the family can bring all sorts of toxic grudges and resentments to the fore. Especially when money is involved.
My recently deceased grandmother left a sizeable estate. I knew her death was going to set off some family drama, because she and my mother never liked each other....at all. Now my mom is furious because of some of the provisions of the will.
My dad and his sister are the only two surviving heirs. While my aunt will get her half of the estate immediately, my dad's half has been put in a trust fund to be doled out to him yearly over the course of twelve years. If he should die before it's all paid out, the entire trust fund goes to me. Dad's health is very, very bad and has been for a long time. As much as it hurts my heart to say this, it's surprising that he's lived this long. My grandmother knew this. It's pretty obvious she wanted my mom to have as little access to that money as possible.
When my dad questioned his sister as to why his portion was tied up in a trust to be doled out, and hers wasn't, she said, "Momma wanted to protect you in case of a divorce." A divorce?! My parents have been married for 45 years! And to add insult to injury, my aunt is on her third marriage. Let that sink in for a moment.
I completely understand my dad's feelings being hurt and my mom being angry. I also understand that there was plenty of blame to go around with mom and grandma's failed relationship. Maybe grandma had her reasons for what she did. In any event, it was her money to do with as she liked.
I'm trying to stay neutral and mind my own business in this situation. I refuse to get involved in family drama concerning money.The very idea makes me feel ill. But I saw my mom this morning and she complained long and bitterly over it all and kept talking about how hard she will have to struggle financially if dad dies anytime in the next few years. I was terribly uncomfortable. Not only because we were talking about my dad possibly dying soon (which is bad enough) but also because I feel guilty that grandma made me the beneficiary of her parting shot at my mom.
I hate family drama. Hate it.