The Cherub

Yesterday a new student registered for school with us. Kindergarten. Five years old. The most adorable little boy you ever saw: beautiful olive skin, springy, tawny curls, big bright eyes. A little cherub. He's in foster care, and this is the first time he's been in school in his life. 

His teacher, my favorite from the kindergarten hall (experienced, kind, fun, and with a real gift for teaching little ones), was out sick yesterday, so the classroom aide was by herself. Up in the front office, by midmorning we started to hear rumblings that the Cherub was turning out to be a real live wire. The library assistant reported that when the class came to check out books, she started asking him questions about himself. He stared at her, answered her questions for a minute, and then said, "I punch people who annoy me." She said, "Am I annoying you?" to which he replied, "No, but I'm just letting you know..." We all chuckled. Okay. 

At lunch, he informed one of the lunch ladies that he "knew lots of gangsters at his last home" and "I punch people who annoy me!" Whew, we said. What a little firecracker! Haha! Okay.

Then about an hour after lunch the classroom aide called up to the front office and said, "I need help! (Cherub) is trying to escape!" When the principal went down there, he was angrily trying to exit the class and refusing to sit down and cooperate. She walked him up to the office and sat him on the bench outside the nurse's office, to cool down. After a little while she went to talk to him and said, "You'll get to go home soon. You're riding the brown bus home." (For the littles our buses are named Pink, Brown, Orange, and Blue to help them remember which one they ride). Cherub looked at her like she was an idiot and said, "I ride a YELLOW bus home!" She briefly explained that while the bus IS yellow, the one he rides is called Brown. He continued to look skeptical, so she asked him if he'd rather stay at school with her after everyone else leaves. He shouted, "HELL NO!!!!"

Today when his teacher returned, I saw her first thing and said, "You've a got new student!" She gave me a wry look and said, "Yes, I've already heard." This is a veteran teacher and nothing much fazes her. * Later in the morning, during her break, she reported that they had given Cherub the kindergarten readiness assessment, and he scored really high. High enough that he could almost skip kindergarten and go right into first grade without a problem (at least academically). She also acknowledged that she'll have her hands full with him.

Right before I left for the day, I looked up and saw the teacher in the main office, so I called her over and asked her how the day had gone. 

Y'all...

She told me that about an hour after lunch, the Cherub had demanded she let him go to the cafeteria to "get a hotdog". She told him the cafeteria was closed. He wasn't having it; he demanded that he get to get down there and get a hotdog. She repeated, "Cherub, you can't. The cafeteria closed an hour ago."

And this adorable little boy, the sweetest looking little child you ever saw in your life, raised both his fists, gave her two middle fingers at the same time, and yelled, "Well, FUCK YOU, BITCH!"

Life in a modern-day American school. God help us.

*Thank goodness this child was assigned to her class. If anyone can help him, she can.