Monday, February 1, 2021

Just sad

February is here, and this morning dawned gray and wet and cold. Unfortunately we won't be getting any of the snow that's blanketing the northeast. Just dull, cold, wet weather that makes you want to stay home and hibernate. 

No chance of that here. I'm typing this on my phone, at work. It's so quiet here today. Half of the office staff are out for one reason or another, and I hear we have lots of absent teachers. One of the absent teachers actually showed up at work today after her husband tested positive for Covid because she "needed to pick up some items".  Seriously. It makes you wonder how some people manage to finish college and get teaching jobs when they're so lacking in common sense. Of course, she was sent back home immediately, hopefully before she had a chance to spread her germs around. I'm glad I come in to work at 8:30, after she'd already left. 

I'm feeling so down in the dumps today. Saturday was a long lonely day at home (Gregg was working all day) and I couldn't shake my feeling of sadness. Late in the afternoon a friend from my book club called to give me the news that two of our members are in the process of moving away. That made me even sadder. Who knows if I'll get to see them again before they go--probably not. For that matter, who knows if we'll ever be able to resume meeting up when this virus is under control. Life doesn't stay static as the months continue to pass. People go on with their lives. I'm beginning to think nothing will ever be the same again.

It's unusual for me to feel sad for days on end like this. I try hard not to complain about Covid restrictions because I recognize how lucky I am in a lot of ways. But I'm missing my friends and my family (the ones I still have a relationship with, anyway) and most of all I still miss Ginger terribly. Things just seem like shit at the moment, to be honest. 

Sorry about the negativity. That's all I've got today.

23 comments:

  1. Sorry you are feeling down. Treat yourself to something that will make you smile today! Ice cream? Bubble bath? Dancing with your hubby? Eating ice cream while in a bubble bath after you have danced with your husband? What is your favorite things to do that you can do today?
    Hope you feel better soon!

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  2. I am sorry to hear you are having a string of sad days. I like Ellen D's ideas in her comment. We need to do lots of self care in these hard days. I felt worried when I read that a politician who had BOTH vaccine shots has Covid. Perhaps without symptoms. I am putting a lot of hope in the vaccine! George says take me on a walk please! Hugs from California.

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  3. I expect you are still grieving for Ginger. My daughter lost her dog, Buddy, in December and is struggling with the 'blues'. Stay strong, life will get better.

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  4. It is bad enough normally losing a beloved pet but the restrictions we are under now just makes everything seem even worse. The weather doesn't help either. I agree with the others. Pamper yourself. Hope you feel better soon.

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  5. It's very normal to feel like you are feeling under the circumstances, and at this time of the year. Imagine how exciting it will be when the weather changes and early flowers start to bloom.

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  6. the teacher is a dope and should be shunned. february has always sucked for me; the only bright spot is that baseball spring training begins in 2-3 weeks.

    you are still mourning ginger; it's ok. we understand.

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  7. You're allowed to feel this way and to express it. Sorry it is the way it is. As for that idiot teacher, I know an ICU nurse who recently spent an entire day at work feeling like hell and assuming she had bronchitis. She had COVID! Three days earlier, her husband had an unexplained illness and went babysit his granddaughters the next two days. COVID! I mean, shit! ANYWAY... a lot of things are shit at the moment. And then there's Gregg, Marco, and George, and a lot of people that love you! Be kind to yourself.

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  8. It is all so overwhelming- i went in to the doctor to have a skin thing removed, ended up being diagnosed as "a bit depressed" came out with a tiny blue pill that righted my ship. Something to consider.

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  9. Linda Sue could be right. You might need a little blue pill yourself to help you with this sadness. I mean- you have every right to be sad and then some but if it goes on too long...
    I'm so sorry. I do understand.

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  10. Sorry you're sad. Sounds a lot like the winter doldrums. They will pass.

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  11. Momma said there'd be days like this. Sometimes music helps.

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  12. I'm so sorry you are feeling down but I do understand. We've been dealing with all this for almost a year now and if that is not depressing then I don't know what is. Plus it must be extra difficult for you working in a school and not knowing when someone like that teacher might come in carrying it. If your sadness continues it might help to see your doctor. I deal with depression and take something for it. There is no shame in that - at all. Be extra kind to yourself and give yourself some kind of a special treat. I wish I could help, but I do care! Hugs!

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  13. Just keep moving, things will get better, one day it will all be a distant memory

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  14. Sometimes it hits you and you have to be in it for a while before you get out.
    Sending good energy your way. And maybe some sunny days!

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  15. I'm sorry and hope you perk up soon. A year is a long time to put up with a pandemic, and it may go on a while longer.

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  16. This is a low point of the year and your emotional energy is bound to be low, even in ordinary years which this isn't. Are you able to get out and walk or be active? That can help.

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  17. Put on some inspirational music (I'm listening to The Ink Spots, and Earth Wind and Fire) and sing as loudly as your neighbours will allow. It's very good for the soul, and 'should' make you feel happy.

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  18. You are a human being, dear Jennifer, and naturally things get to you. I suppose if Little P. had shown up at your work place today, he would have given you a good reason to smile :-)
    Yes, life is not static, and never has been. We all need to come to terms with the fact that things are never going to be (exactly) the same again. Maybe your book friends who are moving away will still be able to join your meetings online. These days, it hardly matters where our dear ones live - we can not meet most of them in person anyway. I find this harder the longer it lasts, too.

    But hey, I spotted the first snowdrops of this season here on Sunday, while walking with O.K. That made me so happy I had to skip along the sidewalk for a bit, in my wellies and heavy padded winter coat.

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  19. Does 'cheer up chook work?' If not, you are welcome to feel sad. It's okay x

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  20. Of course you miss Ginger. How could you not? I think you should feel free to complain about coronavirus restrictions all you want, if it helps relieve the pressure. I complain about them all the time, but it doesn't mean I don't recognize that they're essential. (And WHAT WAS THAT TEACHER THINKING?!?!)

    February is a tough month. Spring is coming, though.

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  21. It is good that you can use your blog to express your feelings about what is going on in your world Jennifer. Like you I doubt that we will ever get back to the kind of lives we knew before. It is hard to cheerful in these challenging times and that is the truth of it. It is as if we are all waiting for our lives proper to resume.

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  22. I think everyone is having days where the whole situation is getting on top of us. Yesterday was the 32nd anniversary of when my husband and I started dating. He knew I had been a bit mis so thought he'd cheer me up and gave me some beautiful, black, silk lacy underwear. Beautiful for a 20 year old, that is. I am nearly 60 and it took all I had to not burst into tears and throw them in his face!! Call me ungrateful but cheer me up? I can't even bring myself to try it on. Hey ho - he can dream!

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