Saturday, August 15, 2020

Just coping

 Hi everyone. Thank you all for all the kind and supportive comments on my last post. I can't respond to them individually at this point but please know that I've read and appreciated every single one of them.  

I fear this is turning into the My Dying Dog blog, which can't be very much fun to read. I'm sorry. Life feels like it's in this weird transitional period, a kind of shitty and depressing limbo between our old life with Ginger and what comes after. In a little over a week I'll return to work full time after 5 months of being at home. Establishing new routines and getting back on a schedule will have to help. 

That said, I'm glad I have another week at home with George. He's going to be alone during the day for the first time since we adopted him, and another week with me will hopefully help him adjust a bit more beforehand. He's having a really hard time with Ginger's passing. He's confused, anxious, and sticking to me like glue. I catch him listening hard to the slightest noises in the house, and looking around the porch and backyard sometimes. It's pretty obvious he's listening and looking for Ginger, and doesn't understand what's happened. He looks at me sometimes with these big, sad, questioning eyes and it's heartbreaking. We're trying to be cheerful and matter of fact with him to help curb some of the anxiety. We're taking him for extra walks to burn off some of that tension, too. I don't know what else to do but to give him time. 

You know what doesn't help George (or us, for that matter)? Marco calling several times a day, "GINGEEEERR! GINGER!Every time he hears us call for George, he has to follow up and call for Ginger, too. It's really sad. (Be aware of these things if you ever get the crazy idea that owning a parrot would be nothing but fun). It makes us sad to hear him call out to her, and it's pretty obvious he's wondering what happened to her and where she went. Maybe he's missing her, too. We had her already when he came to live with us all those years ago.

I've discovered that grief is exhausting. Gregg, George, and I have all been feeling tired and listless. In an effort to take care of us all, I did some cooking yesterday afternoon. I made spaghetti sauce from scratch and let it simmer for hours, filling up the house with a delicious smell. When I looked in on the boys after finishing some stuff in the kitchen, this is what I saw.

Poor guys were both worn out. Gregg never naps, so this was a surprise. I stayed as quiet as I could and let them sleep for the next hour or so.  Later we had big bowls of delicious spaghetti, the best (and biggest) meal we had eaten in many days. We both felt a little better for it. I made a lot of sauce, so the extra is slowly heating back up in the crockpot for tonight's meal. It smells even better today.

So that's it. We're hanging in there and coping with this transition for our little family as best we can. Thanks again for all the support. It really means a lot.


45 comments:

  1. Yes. Sounds like grief to me. For all of you. I know you know this but be patient with yourselves. You just have to go through this, as hard as it is. I'm so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. It's just waiting for time to pass.

      Delete
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    3. Hello people!!! My name is Robert Hernandez and I live in Nevada,U.S and
      I am a full member of the Illuminati brotherhood, am among the 1252 lodge,,I
      was ordained by the Grand-master to go out to the world and bring
      more members to the Illuminati, so I was requested to bring 400
      members into the brotherhood,,I have 210 members now, am
      looking for only 190 people to go, I am sure you want to be among
      the 190 people that will be earning $500,000 per month and a brand
      new car, so add me up now so we can achieve this great chance
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  2. I was wondering how george and marco were coping. that's a good pix of gregg and george. it takes time to grieve; take all the time you need, we understand. I am sure the house has a different vibe today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Our house feels incredibly empty and off balance. There's a huge hole in our life.

      Delete
  3. I'm glad you still have a week until school starts. Take every minute of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm trying to use it to get some last minute relaxation. The last two or three three weeks were terribly stressful.

      Delete
  4. I was thinking of George. When the vet came to our home to help the Gud Dug Watson she puts a clean white sheet on the floor with Watson so thehamish could sniff and see that Watson had gone. Not sure if that help. About 2 weeks after thehamish was looking for Watson, he had been in and out of the vets for so long I think thehamish finally understood. I kept all his blankets in the crates and then finally washed them one by one. Watson was thehamish's touchstone and I was as happy he made it through but I still think thehamish missed his Gud Dug Watson.
    Please write us as much as you need to.
    parsnip

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Gayle. George doesn't understand what's happened hut he's doing okay. He had a bath today which he didn't much like!

      Delete
  5. I find that spaghetti sauce and most homemade soups taste better the second day. Wise choice of comfort food for the grieving you are going through.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it was better the second day, and then there was enough left to freeze a food portion.

      Delete
  6. The pain will diminish, but it'll always be there to a certain extent. Keep eating spaghetti.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I've been thinking about George. A loss like this is equally difficult on other pets in the home. It will take time for all of you. We need to grieve so we may come to accept the loss. But in time you will look back and feel good for the happy days spent with Ginger. Going back to work will help because you will be busy. I wish I could help you. I care and I'm sorry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for caring and all your supportive comments. I think going back to work will help a lot.

      Delete
  8. It is the best thing you can do, giving yourselves the time you need and sticking together - none of you has to struggle through this alone.
    Yes, grief is very exhausting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We're just getting by right now. Life feels empty and there's a huge hole in our universe.

      Delete
  9. Spaghetti sauce is all the better for slow cooking. There's nothing else I can say about Ginger's passing but I liked Cro Magnon's idea of having a photo of her in a frame so that you can say "hi" to her every day and remember your happy years together.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We've had to put away all photos of Ginger for the time being. Gregg in particular can't bear to see them right now. Maybe in the future when the pain isn't so fresh..

      Delete
  10. I wish I didn't know that feeling, but I do. Sending you more hugs and hoping new joys and sweet memories of Ginger begin to replace the sadness.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Lily was 8 months old when my first Boxer, Gertie, died of a heart attack. Lily would sit at the foot of the stairs looking up and waiting for Gertie, so I took the advice I give everyone who loses a loved dog. After about 6 weeks start looking for another puppy. That's how I got Biggie. Best thing I ever did in my life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We won't be ready for another dog that soon, but maybe one day. Right now we're just barely getting through the days.

      Delete
  12. Our Doberman, Abby, was about the same age as Ginger when she lost her battle. And like George, Abby's buddy, Jake, didn't understand either. He searched for her everywhere, including on dog walks where he would try to find her scent around the neighborhood. George, like you, needs exactly what you are giving him--extra love and attention. Even Marco in his noisy manner. Each of you supporting the other. Sending you good thoughts and the hope for strength as you all navigate your grief.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for this comment and for your kind words.

      Delete
  13. Grief is a process, for sure. It's hard to imagine what dogs think and feel when another dog from the pack disappears like that. I'm sure it's stressful for them. (Not to mention Marco!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marco has been SO BAD. He screams over and over for seemingly no reason (probably a reaction to our stress) and it's just about pushed Gregg to the breaking point today. :(

      Delete
  14. there is no sorrow than a dying pet; I watch my own entering that stage.
    I am glad you are surrounded by love here; i hope it helps some.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It does help some. These are sad days at our house. There's a giant hole in our lives and it makes my heart ache.

      Delete
  15. Thanks for letting us know how you are doing. Grieving is a process for sure. You are in my thoughts every day. Gregg and George sure do look zonked out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've thought about you and your sweet pup several times in the past few days. Thank you for being here.

      Delete
  16. How lucky Ginger was to have had you and Greg. Her life was good.

    Are you going back to work full time?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I'll be going back full time a week from today.

      Delete
  17. We are here for you , but you know that x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, John. I do know it, and it helps. xx

      Delete
  18. I haven't been around so I just learned about Ginger. I'm so sorry. You don't have to entertain us for us to be there for you. I've dealt with quite a few sad events while blogging.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hate to keep writing about my sadness, though. Everyone who has ever lost a much loved pet can relate, but I know that it's only really a tragedy for us. The support I've gotten here has been a lifeline. Some of my family haven't said a word, and that hurts, but I don't expect much of them. Thank you Janie.

      Delete
  19. Oh so sorry Jennifer to read this. I always say the hardest part of having a dog is that just when you can't imagine life without them, it's time for them to go.

    Here on the farm, when an older dog died, the younger dog would howl in a mournful way, even if they weren't there when it died, somehow they understood that they will never see their friend again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, my friend. Yes, George knows something drastic has happened and he's settling down a little, but I think he's still looking for her to come home. :(

      Delete
  20. You're in my thoughts. What a hole in our hearts losing a pet leaves. It's a pain only a devoted loving pet owner can know. Please know you aren't alone. We all are with you in your time of grief.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, that really helps and means a lot.

      Delete
  21. The Boys taking their Naps was precious! May you move thru the stages of Grief as best you can, Grief is exhausting.

    ReplyDelete
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    looking for only 190 people to go, I am sure you want to be among
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  23. Hello people!!! My name is Robert Hernandez and I live in Nevada,U.S and
    I am a full member of the Illuminati brotherhood, am among the 1252 lodge,,I
    was ordained by the Grand-master to go out to the world and bring
    more members to the Illuminati, so I was requested to bring 400
    members into the brotherhood,,I have 210 members now, am
    looking for only 190 people to go, I am sure you want to be among
    the 190 people that will be earning $500,000 per month and a brand
    new car, so add me up now so we can achieve this great chance
    of being rich for...your life will change for good.so don't miss this
    chance of being rich for life email me via illuminatitemple6634@gmail.com‬ or add me on Whats-app +1(843)919-9210  

    ReplyDelete