Tomorrow I'm off to Raleigh, NC to spend a few days with my mother-in-law and her husband.
My MIL was recently diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia and Gregg and I have been trying to visit as often as we can while she's still in the early stages of the disease. I've been promising her a visit for almost two months now but what with one thing and another, it hasn't worked out. After deciding not to take the new job, I arranged for a couple of personal leave days so I could go. She sounded so happy when I called to tell her I was coming! I love her like a second mom. She's always treated me just like a daughter since the first day we ever met. I truly lucked out in the mother-in-law department.
I'm hoping her husband can get a break while I'm there to go play golf or do something else he enjoys. I know that her declining condition has been difficult for him and he doesn't get many chances to get away. She can no longer drive and so all the shopping and errands fall on him now. She doesn't have the concentration to cook anymore, and they've hired a woman to come help with the cleaning once a week. Then there's the burden of helping her remember to take medications and getting her to her never ending medical appointments. The man has the patience of a saint and has been so good to her! We're lucky she married such a good man late in life. (They married 15 years ago when they were both in their mid- sixties). His health is still good and his mind is sharp. I feel so sad for him and want to support him as much as possible--he watched his first wife die slowly of cancer. I can't imagine how painful it is for him to see his second wife declining to a disease as cruel as dementia.
But....for the time being, she's still doing reasonably well, and Gregg and I plan to make the most of whatever good time she has left....and to support his stepdad as much as possible throughout. I wish we didn't live almost 3 hours away, though.
Showing posts with label family time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family time. Show all posts
Monday, April 27, 2015
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Family time
Next week should be interesting, and possibly a little bit stressful. My mother in law is coming for an extended visit. As in, at least a week and possibly more. God help me!
Don't get me wrong: she's a lovely woman, and dear to us. We've been trying to arrange a long visit for months now. I'm glad she's coming, just a bit overwhelmed at the thought. The truth is, she's almost 80 years old, and beginning to slip a bit mentally. Her short term memory has been getting progressively worse for the past year or two. She gets confused easily and often forgets names, or words she means to use, or what she just told you 10 minutes ago. Physically, she's in pretty good shape considering her age, but she clearly is in the early stages of some type of dementia. (The doctors say it's not Alzheimer's, thank goodness). Overall, her memory issues aren't that big of a deal at this point. It's just that it's too easy to let months (and years!) slip by without spending enough time together as a family and before you know it, it's too late. Hence the long visit we have planned.
She lives in Raleigh, NC with her husband. I will be going to get her tomorrow. It's a 2-3 hour drive, so we aren't comfortable with her driving herself down these days. (She does still drive a little bit, but I imagine that those days are numbered). Her husband will come get her when she's ready, that way everyone will only have to make the drive once. I'm looking forward to going to Raleigh; a friend is driving up with me, and we're going to take in some of the city's sights, then spend the night with my in laws. We'll drive back home with my guest Monday afternoon.
Gregg is excited to see his mom. They've only spent a few odd hours together since he got over being sick, and it will be good for both of them. I must admit I'm a bit nervous. We've never had any guest stay at our house for a whole week. I dread the extra work involved (planning meals, cooking, thinking of things to do, etc. etc.) and, more than that, the lack of alone time for me. I'm one of those people that needs and thrives on a certain amount of solitude. I definitely have some mixed feelings about the visit.
Still, family time is more important than any minor inconvenience it may cause. I hope we can all have fun together. I've been working hard to come up with ideas for things to do while she's here. I've also been working hard at cleaning our house. For once in my life, you can eat off my floors. Ha! Behold the power of a mother-in-law visit!
Don't get me wrong: she's a lovely woman, and dear to us. We've been trying to arrange a long visit for months now. I'm glad she's coming, just a bit overwhelmed at the thought. The truth is, she's almost 80 years old, and beginning to slip a bit mentally. Her short term memory has been getting progressively worse for the past year or two. She gets confused easily and often forgets names, or words she means to use, or what she just told you 10 minutes ago. Physically, she's in pretty good shape considering her age, but she clearly is in the early stages of some type of dementia. (The doctors say it's not Alzheimer's, thank goodness). Overall, her memory issues aren't that big of a deal at this point. It's just that it's too easy to let months (and years!) slip by without spending enough time together as a family and before you know it, it's too late. Hence the long visit we have planned.
She lives in Raleigh, NC with her husband. I will be going to get her tomorrow. It's a 2-3 hour drive, so we aren't comfortable with her driving herself down these days. (She does still drive a little bit, but I imagine that those days are numbered). Her husband will come get her when she's ready, that way everyone will only have to make the drive once. I'm looking forward to going to Raleigh; a friend is driving up with me, and we're going to take in some of the city's sights, then spend the night with my in laws. We'll drive back home with my guest Monday afternoon.
Gregg is excited to see his mom. They've only spent a few odd hours together since he got over being sick, and it will be good for both of them. I must admit I'm a bit nervous. We've never had any guest stay at our house for a whole week. I dread the extra work involved (planning meals, cooking, thinking of things to do, etc. etc.) and, more than that, the lack of alone time for me. I'm one of those people that needs and thrives on a certain amount of solitude. I definitely have some mixed feelings about the visit.
Still, family time is more important than any minor inconvenience it may cause. I hope we can all have fun together. I've been working hard to come up with ideas for things to do while she's here. I've also been working hard at cleaning our house. For once in my life, you can eat off my floors. Ha! Behold the power of a mother-in-law visit!
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