Purpose

It's good to have a sense of purpose. After all these weeks of staying at home, feeling aimless and disconnected from the life we had pre-pandemic, it's nice to have a reason to get up in the morning and something to work towards. Even small things make a difference.

I've been up to the school several times in the last week. First of all, the principal called and asked me to come down to the school and if I'd do him a favor. Our phone system got updated and now there's a menu when you call, one of those "press 1 for so-and-so, press 2 for....." recordings. Since I do most of the morning and afternoon announcements, and everyone claims I have a great voice for it, the principal wanted me to be "the voice of the school" and record the menu options for the phones. I was happy to! I ended up having to drive down to the district office and meet with the head of technology to make the recordings, but it only took a few minutes. Later that afternoon, the principal called me up and gushed about what a great job he thought I'd done! This will actually benefit me more than anybody; I answer 90% of the calls to the school (maybe more) so this will divert a lot of those calls to the person they're meant for instead of going through the main office. Hooray! It's something we should've done years ago.

Then I spent all day at the school on Monday, helping Gregg set up the new aquarium in the lobby!  For those of you keeping up with this project, here are two photos I took after everything was up and running. Since the fish aren't in there yet, and two powerful filters are running, the water is so glossy clear that one of the passing custodians asked me if there was water in it yet!

I love the stark rocks and the spare aquascape that Gregg came up with! It mirrors the design of the tank, stand, and hood really well. It's going to look great once the Shubunkin goldfish arrive.

Even wholesale pet suppliers are experiencing disruptions in supply chains due to the pandemic, but Gregg was able to get a bundle of the goldfish into the pet store after calling a long time wholesaler contact in Atlanta and asking for a favor. He picked out the best dozen for our school. They're in a small tank at the store right now, but as soon as he's sure they're healthy they'll be coming to their new home! Eventually a 72 gallon tank (that's what this is) will be far too small for a dozen goldfish, but it'll be a while before they get that big. They're only 3-4 inches right now. The long term plan is to have either 3 or 5 large, wiggly, pet-like fish living in this tank, whichever ones grow out to be the prettiest. They should end up between 8-10 inches long in a few years if all goes well. Of course, Gregg will re-home any extras from the original dozen.


Shubunkin goldfish, stock photos:






The principal and the few staff members still working right now seem to love the new tank!
It's prominent in the lobby and should get a lot of attention when school reopens. Gregg was able to get us a good deal on everything, and he decided not to charge the school for the labor to set the aquarium up. That and the tank itself is his gift to the school. I'm so proud of him! Of course, he'll be making a little extra money each month for maintaining a second tank, but even that he's cutting them a break on. My husband is a really good guy. :)

Helping him set up the new tank, recording the messages for the phone system, running by the school today to drop off an invoice for the bookkeeper....all this has kept me just busy enough in the last several days to make me feel better. I've still been struggling to find purpose in my days. If ever I thought a lot of time off work and time to stay at home sounded appealing, I've been disabused of that notion in the last four months. I hate sitting at home day after day. Maybe if there wasn't a pandemic and I had all this time off it would be okay, who knows. For instance, I'd love to resume my Guardian ad Litem duties, but with South Carolina a hotspot of infection, now is definitely not the time for that. I've had to (regretfully) let that go by the wayside. Although I love and believe in the work, a 9-5 office job doesn't lend itself to regular family court appearances. Nor did it give me a good time to meet with childrens' school teachers and counselors, which is an essential part of serving as a GAL. I think I may have to put off that kind of volunteer work until I'm retired, not merely staying home because of a virus. It's too bad, though. I could do a lot of good with all the time I have to spare these days.

It definitely looks like I'll be going back to work soon, though. Governor McMaster gave a press conference today where he basically said he wants the schools to reopen for in-person instruction after Labor Day no matter what. Teachers and parents are frightened and angry, which I understand. As for me, I'll do whatever I'm asked to do. Maybe by then our city's new mask requirement will help to tamp down the infection rate. In any event, I'll be sitting behind a counter and behind a desk (several feet away from others) in the office, wearing a mask, and being vigilant about hand washing. I'd be lying if I said I was upset about the prospect of going back, though. I need that sense of  purpose in my days.

How do you retain a sense of purpose and balance in these strange times? Does your work/contribution to society have an effect on your feelings of self worth? I'm finding that a sense of purpose in life is important to me (I never knew this about myself). Is this true for you, too?

Tuesday

Today I had to be up and out of the house early, because there was a court hearing for the child I'm a GAL for. I don't think I told you all about meeting this little guy. He's in the care of his great grandparents because his mother has addiction issues and mental illness. He's been with them since he was a month old, and he's thriving in their care. He has big blue eyes and a goofy, two-toothed grin, and is just about the most adorable toddler you ever saw. He was immediately taken with me when I visited the first time, crawling over to me, pulling himself up, and holding out his arms for me to pick him up. He sat in my lap the whole time I was there, and would have happily left with me if we had allowed it! His g-grandma said, "I'm sorry, Baby...you have to stay here with the old folks!" They're very nice people and are giving the boy (and his teenaged half brother) a safe and loving home. They allow the mother to visit whenever she wants to, but they know that the likelihood of her ever being able to care for him properly is low. She's in and out of mental institutions and drug rehab, and her live-in boyfriend (the little boy's father) just got out of prison and has addiction problems of his own.

My GAL assignment is a lucky boy to have loving relatives willing and able to take him in and raise him, so there's no question of his ending up in foster care. I do feel sorry for the grandparents, though. Little B is a delightful child and seems to have outgrown the withdrawal issues he had at birth, but I can't imagine taking on the burden of any 13 month old child at their age. The day I visited happened to be their 50th wedding anniversary, and this is their great grandchild. They love him and want him, though, and it's obvious that they're taking excellent care of him. The judge at the hearing this morning thanked them on behalf of the court and of the state for what they're doing for this child. It made my eyes tear up a little; this particular judge is my favorite because he always speaks so kindly and respectfully to everyone who comes before him in court. He's very wise, and more than fair, and has a gentle sense of humor that I really appreciate. He also thanked me in court today for serving as this boy's Guardian. How nice is that?

This case goes back to court at least one more time, in late August, and I'm about to take on a new case that has a hearing in only two weeks. I'll have to jump right in and arrange to meet the child (or children) so that I can have a report ready by July 23. I'm trying to get in as many cases as possible while I'm out of school for the summer. I won't be able to take on many new ones once I'm back at work.

Last week of June

How is your summer going?

It's been ridiculously hot here in South Carolina. Temperatures up to 100F with heat indexes of up to 110F have made it nearly impossible to do anything outdoors. I've been staying at home in the A/C with the blinds drawn against the relentless heat. The dogs have been staying inside every day from around noon until bedtime. Ginger has decided that she loves being inside and has a favorite spot picked out in one of the bedrooms right beside an A/C vent. She and George have both been good as gold while inside; they mostly lie around all day and nap. I think they both appreciate getting to escape the heat. We've been giving Marco time out of his cage in the morning before the dogs come in, and then again at night when they go out (and maybe once or twice during the day when I make the dogs go outside for a few minutes to give them opportunities to pee and poop). Since I dare not leave the dogs (especially George) alone in the house, I've been stuck at home during the worst heat of the day so I can keep an eye on them. 

Tomorrow and Wednesday are supposed to be about 10 degrees cooler, which is a good thing, because I have things I need to do during the day. Hopefully it will be safe to leave the dogs out in the garage with their fans going and plenty of water. They also have access to our fenced back yard, which is full of trees and very shady, so they should be fine. 

I've been assigned as a Guardian to a new child, a little boy that just turned a year old this month. I'm going to meet him and the grandparents he's living with on Wednesday afternoon. His mother has addiction issues and wasn't caring for him properly, and so the grandparents had to step in and take him when he was a week old. Little B. showed some signs of opioid withdrawal at birth, but from all accounts is doing well now in the care of his relatives. The mother has supervised visits, but wants full custody back, so this case will likely be heard in court several times. Hence the need for a GAL for the child. I spoke to his grandmother this morning, to set up a time to visit, and she was pleasant and polite and (most importantly) receptive to my role as her grandson's Guardian. I'm not dreading this first visit as much as I've dreaded others in the past, partly because the grandmother assured me that little B. is a delightful toddler and "you're going to love him!" With that kind of positive attitude, I think this woman (and hopefully, her husband) will be easy to work with.

Speaking of children, I'm planning to go see Marla and the baby tomorrow! It's hard to believe that little Carsen is already five weeks old. She's the sweetest baby; she's always asleep when I go to see her, and she smiles in her sleep. 

A photo Marla texted me just this morning. 

I have a long list of chores I'd like to accomplish this week, before the beginning of July. July will be devoted to continuing the process of paring down our possessions in preparation for moving. I've already worked my way through our bookshelves, but that's the tip of the iceberg. Our garage is cluttered, our closets are stuffed full of old clothes and junk, and we even have a whole "junk room" filled with all kinds of things that need to be either organized, repaired, donated, or tossed. I always keep the door to that room closed because it's so shameful looking inside! Now that I have all this time on my hands, there's no excuse for it. Especially when we plan to buy a house before the year is out and will be packing up to move.

On the diet front, I've doubled down on my healthier eating habits and calorie counting--and it's working! I'm now down 17 pounds despite not walking nearly enough in the past week due to the heat. My clothes are getting looser and I'm feeling really good. I think the fact that I'm limiting sugar and junk food is making my skin better, too. The eczema on my knees is completely gone, and while my right ankle still has itchy patches, my left one has almost cleared up, too. The only two things that have really changed are my diet and the amount of water that I drink. So that's a good bonus, too.

I'm finishing up June in a good way on all fronts, and I'm looking forward to July and making more progress on my goals. Do you have any goals you're working toward this summer? If so, I'd love to hear about it!

Duties

I've taken on a new case as a Guardian Ad Litem.  This morning I have to drive to Lake City, a town about 30 minutes from here, to meet two little boys and their dad. There's a court date on Tuesday to determine if he gets to keep the kids and to ask the judge to take away the mother's parental rights, as she's mentally ill and has been missing for a long time now. She may be dead for all anyone knows. There's been some question about whether or not the father is fit to raise the boys, so I have to go and check things out and prepare a report for court.

I've been dreading it (the visit). To people under investigation by child protective services, everyone assigned to the case is part of "the system". (Often people confuse a GAL with a DSS employee) It's kind of intimidating, going to a stranger's house to inquire into all sorts of personal family business during a time of crisis. I'm glad I arranged to go early (11am) so I can get it over with. I did speak to the father to arrange a time to visit, and he assured me he's willing to do whatever he needs to do to keep his children. He told me to come anytime it would be convenient for me, so that was reassuring, at least.

I have to take a personal day off work to be able to make the court date Tuesday. I wasn't able to make Kay's last court date because the GAL coordinator got a date mixed up and I had less than 24 hours notice to be there. Many of the volunteers are retired from paying jobs and so are able to accommodate things like short notice. I can't. Yesterday this was part of a group email that the volunteer coordinator (the one who mixed up the dates last time) sent out about next week's court docket:


Also I need you to be at these hearings the program has been frowned upon by the Judges and the Guardian attorney that too many Guardian are not being present for hearing, so I need you there; if you need a work excuse let me know I will provide this for you to give to your employer.

I felt slightly annoyed at that, considering it was his mistake that caused me and probably a couple of others to not be present last time. And that's another thing: it's difficult to have a paying job, with school hours, and be expected to work effectively as a GAL. I need to be meeting with guidance counselors and teachers of these school-aged kids that I'm trying to serve, and with limited personal days (only 2 per year) and the same work schedule the teachers and counselors have, that's tough. When I did my volunteer training, I still had the job in retail and I had much more flexibility in my schedule.

So I'm not sure how this all will work out. I'm committed to doing at least a year, and certainly things will be easier over the summer when I'm off. We'll see how the next six months go.

In the meantime, wish me luck this morning.

Just another Sunday

The view from my front door this morning.

Weekends sure fly by now that I don't work on them. I can't complain, though. There's never a dull moment at my job, so the weekdays go by pretty quickly, too. I'm looking forward to the five days off we get at Thanksgiving (Wednesday through Sunday) which still feels far away but in actuality it's only about five weeks. Gregg's taking those days off with me, and we're planning to take the dogs and go camping.

It's finally a little cooler outside. Up until this weekend, besides two or three days when hurricanes were churning out at sea, it's been unseasonably hot and humid for October. The pumpkin you see on my front step has started to rot in the back and will have to be thrown out and replaced. It's just been too hot for pumpkins to sit in the sun!

Today has been a lazy day. I did a load of laundry, took a nap, and read the first quarter of a book for next week's book club meeting (the bigger of my two books clubs). This month our selection is Reconstructing Amelia by Kimberly McCreight. So far it's....okay. It's one of those Gone Girl type thriller/mystery novels that quite honestly isn't my favorite genre. I'm hoping that In a Dark, Dark Wood by Ruth Ware will be better; that's the October pick for my smaller club. I'm glad my love of books is no longer contaminated by working at a job I hate in a bookstore!

Speaking of work, for those of you who asked, I did not take on a second GAL child. It was a 16 year old boy with severe mental health problems who has been committed to a psychiatric ward for treatment. His 17 year old brother would have been part of the package but he's in prison for rape (!) and will be serving time beyond when he ages out next year. I was frankly kind of appalled that the GAL program director would even suggest such a case for me. When I said no she quickly said she understood and that they would try to find an experienced male guardian for the younger boy. I wonder why they didn't just do that to begin with! So for the time being, Kay remains my only GAL assignment.

It's about time for Gregg to get home from work, so I'd better wrap up this blog post. We have leftovers for supper tonight, but I'm going to attempt to make little baked apple hand pies for dessert. I have some apples I cooked down into chunky applesauce the other day that need using up. Gregg loves fried apple pies, but they're too messy and time consuming to make very often. We'll see how the baked version turns out instead! Wish me luck.

Have a good evening, everyone.

Long week.

This past week felt terribly long. I'm so grateful the weekend is here.

First there was the shooting in Las Vegas, which I couldn't bear to follow on the news after the first day or two. I'm not normally one to get overly emotional about such things (other than being horrified and sickened by the frequency of deadly gun violence in this country) but for some reason every time I tried to watch or read about what happened I got choked up and had to fight back tears. So many lives lost, so many lives forever changed, so much heartache...for what? Nothing. Nothing but a mentally ill person with access to weapons made for mass killing, that no private citizen should be able to buy. I'm not anti-gun. My husband and I own a couple of handguns for personal protection, and although we don't hunt I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with hunting rifles used for sport. The kind of weapons I do have a problem with are military assault types that no one outside of the military have any business with. I also have a problem with how easy it is to buy guns (any kind of guns) in this country and how our culture glorifies violence.

On a related note, a student at the school where I work made a video of himself brandishing a pistol and sent it via social media to another student to threaten him. We have a school resource officer (an armed policeman) that is stationed at our school and he was involved in the conferences held with the administrators and the parents. The boy got suspended and will soon be on his way to alternative school, but that just goes to show how easily even middle school kids can get their hands on a gun. Which is why the middle schools and high schools around here have to have armed police officers on staff  these days. That would have been unthinkable when I was growing up. Also this week: in a primary school 10 miles down the road from us, a first grader (!) brought a loaded gun to school. It was all over the local news. The child was 6 years old!  Unbelievable.

Putting aside the crazy gun news, we had a sad event at my school this week. A little girl from the PMD (profoundly mentally disabled) class passed away Sunday night. Last Thursday she started running a high fever, no one knew why, and had to be admitted to the hospital. By Friday she was on life support, and her teacher and the principal went up to the hospital to see her and her mom. Sunday night she was gone. Monday morning the principal broke the news to the school in the morning announcements. It was a sad day. The class teacher is a sweet young woman just out of college who arrived exhausted at work Monday after being at the hospital most of the night. The kids in the other special needs classes took the news especially hard, as did their parents. My heart ached for everyone, and I was embarrassed to find myself brimming with tears more than once throughout the day.

I'm proud to say the entire school staff has rallied around this child's family. The teacher suggested that since the mom is a poor single mother barely getting by that we have a collection to buy her gift cards to a grocery store, Walmart, etc. A very generous sum of money was raised--pretty much all of the teachers, administrators, office staff, etc gave whatever they could afford. The little girl's mom called at some point and asked if it would be possible to hold the funeral service at the school. The principal got permission from the superintendent and was able to say yes. The custodians will go in early tomorrow and turn on the air conditioners, and set up chairs in the gym, and the band teacher has already set up a microphone and sound system.....it will be nice, and will also save the mom the expense of paying a funeral home to have it there. There have been sympathy cards signed, pictures of the child at school framed for presenting to the mother, and just so much care and concern for this lost student. It makes me happy and proud to work in a place where everyone, staff and students and parents alike, are treated like a big extended family.

Speaking of children and school, I met with Kay's guidance counselor Tuesday morning. She's doing well this year; I was pleasantly surprised to learn that her grades are decent (B's and C's), she's had zero behavior issues, and her attendance is good. The only complaint the counselor had was that the foster mother hasn't responded to requests to have career planning meetings for Kay. Since I'm her court-appointed guardian, I offered to step up and do it, and the counselor agreed.

Remember when I said I wasn't going to take a second GAL assignment right now? The program director emailed me yesterday to ask me to reconsider. There's a young girl living in a group home here in Florence that needs a guardian, and there's a court hearing coming up in early November for her. Suzanne, the director, said she'd totally understand if I turn it down...but my inclination is to say yes. (I told her I'd give her an answer Monday). Kay is turning out to be an easier case than I expected, and as long as she continues to do well I'm only expected to check in with her once or twice a month. There's time in my schedule, and Suzanne (who's becoming a personal friend of mine) wouldn't ask if she wasn't in real need of help. We'll see.

It's been a loooooong week, friends. I'm looking forward to spending some time today and tomorrow catching up with your blogs! It's a cool, foggy, and overcast October morning here...really nice. The heat has been slow to leave this year but today finally feels like fall. I'll wrap up this post with some photos of the full Harvest Moon I took last night while out walking the dogs.

Have a good weekend, everyone.

Responsibilites

I'm feeling a bit weighted down with responsibilities at the moment. There's been very little time to read and comment on my favorite blogs lately, and for that I apologize. My work as a Guardian ad Litem has been especially heavy.

I've visited Kay a couple of times now. I've been checking in with her on the phone on the weeks that I don't see her, and there was a court hearing last week.  Now that she's over 16 years old she's required to be there. Kids in foster care have to have their cases reviewed at least once every 90 days as a part of their "permanency planning". There will almost certainly be no permanent solution for Kay--she's been up for adoption since she was 13 or so and not one single family has ever shown interest in her. Very few people want to adopt teenagers, which I guess is understandable, but it's still heartbreaking. Kay still hopes to be adopted, and she told the judge so in court last week. That makes me really sad, but I think looking to the future is what's best for her now. This weekend we're having lunch together, and next week I have an appointment for a conference with her school guidance counselor. I want to look over her grades, attendance, behavior, class schedule, etc. and see how we can work together to help her have the best school year possible. I hope, more than anything, to be able to attend her high school graduation next year.

So my work with Kay is keeping me busy, not only visiting her and meeting with her foster family, caseworkers, and counselors, but writing monthly monitoring reports, going to court, and required continuing education classes. There was a two hour workshop just last night. Right before we left, the volunteer coordinator put out a plea for GALs willing to take on a second case--there has been a surge in new cases since school started and they're overwhelmed. I almost put my hand up but thank goodness common sense kicked in and I refrained. I still have my "real" job as well as a family life that I need to consider.

Speaking of which, I still love my new job! The people are nice, the schedule is wonderful, and I'm already beginning to feel comfortable and settled there. My life has changed for the better and I'm profoundly grateful.

Eventful week!

My first full week at the new job is done! And I'm happy to report that I'm still just as pleased as I was on the first day. I've only worked 8 days so far, but I have zero complaints...about anything. I can't imagine how I've gotten so lucky! On the first day back for the kids (Thursday), a busing fiasco left dozens of students without transportation to and from school. While that played out, a sewage backup that required an emergency crew of plumbers left over half the school without useable toilets!  It was chaos for awhile! In the midst of all that the principal apologized and handed me a list of parents that needed to be called and who weren't going to be happy--their children, who should have been on buses, had no way home and arrangements had to be made to get them picked up. Most were obviously blue collar hardworking types that needed to be at work and/or didn't have reliable transportation themselves. The rest of the office knew that I had been given a tough task, and I knew they were watching to see how I'd handle it. So I did my best. I accepted the task with a smile and pleasant attitude. I made one call after another, and tried to be as empathetic and professional as possible. I didn't complain. And do you know--not a single parent blasted me! Most were gracious and understanding.

That afternoon, before leaving for the day, the principal (a sharp and efficient middle aged woman) complimented me on how calmly I had handled an especially trying first day of school. That was my biggest highlight of the week! She's not a woman who's given to compliments, certainly not if she doesn't feel they're deserved.

This week I also met the teenager I'm a new guardian to! I was really nervous about it. She's living with foster parents in a really poor part of town, and I had no idea what to expect when I knocked on their door. They're all African Americans, and with the way things are going in our country right now, I couldn't blame them if they didn't want a strange white woman over. But they turned out to be a sweet elderly couple that were very kind and gracious. They remind me a little of my grandparents: the wife has flowers and plants everywhere in her tiny front yard and on her porch, and they were watching The Andy Griffith Show when I arrived. My grandparents watched that show all the time!

After I introduced myself, they called *Kay from her room. She was another pleasant surprise. I expected her to be unreceptive to yet another adult sent from "the system". I expected her to possibly be sulky or difficult. In fact, she was none of those things! She was shy and had a sweet smile. She seems young for her age. I had a new book bag filled with school supplies to give her from the GAL program director, and she seemed very happy with it. We talked about the upcoming school year and what classes she's taking. I admitted I had been nervous to meet her, and she laughed. We made a plan to see each other again in two weeks, and she seemed impressed when I took out my planner and wrote her in for the afternoon of the 31st. All in all, a great first visit and I feel good about this assignment! I'll be with Kay until next summer when she turns 18. She's been through a lot of trauma and deserves a shot at a decent adult life. This year is going to be crucial for her.

I met with Kay after work on Wednesday, and that night was book club. I was so happy to see my friends! I had to miss last month's meeting, and I've been too busy with the new job to see much of them lately. The book we read this month was In the Unlikely Event by Judy Blume. It was a quick and easy read, and not bad for a summer selection.

It's been an exciting week. Now I'm ready to relax! And guess what? It's a three day weekend, because a total solar eclipse is happening here on Monday (!!!!!!!) and the schools are closed. A three day weekend already--I think I'm going to enjoy being "back in school" and following a school schedule! Tomorrow, I'll write more about the grand celestial event that's about to take place over South Carolina on Monday. Until then, enjoy the weekend!


*Not her real name, for obvious reasons.