Willpower (and the lack thereof)

I hate dieting. Not that I'm exactly "on a diet" so much as trying to make some permanent lifestyle changes to lose weight and to get healthier. And I hate it. Hate it. I'm trying to cut out excess sugar and junk food carbs, and it's harder than I thought. I smelled cookies baking in our café at work yesterday and could have wept. Today an author who did a book signing with us on Saturday brought in a dozen doughnuts as a thank you gift and I wanted one so bad. There were chocolate doughnuts with creamy chocolate icing, and caramel iced doughnuts with tiny sugar heart-shaped sprinkles on top, and custard filled doughnuts....I didn't eat one, but instead of feeling proud of myself for abstaining, I just felt....resentful. Because for all the sacrifices I've made over the last couple of weeks, no sweets or soda or buttery croissants, drinking loads of water, and eating salads and baked sweet potatoes and lean protein, I haven't lost any weight yet. None. Nada.  And then I came home from work today and wanted nothing more after a hard day than to have a glass (or three) of wine, but that's off limits, too. I did finally decide to treat myself to a single beer, and I'm drinking it as I type this, and it's so delicious. I know I'll want a second one, but I need to stick to the one. But a tiny part of me keeps thinking "what's the point?" because I lose weight sooooo slowly and gain it so easily unless I police every bite that goes in my mouth. It's just not fair!

Somebody call the waaaambulance! Jennifer's feeling sorry for herself today!

But in all seriousness....how do you keep your willpower strong in the face of mediocre results and lots of temptations?

In a desperate effort to motivate myself to keep on going, I bought a giant pack of multi-colored star stickers yesterday for adding to my wall calendar each day to track my accomplishments. On a day when I eat healthy, wholesome foods all day I get a gold star. When I drink enough water, a blue star. When I surpass my 10,000 step per day target, a red one. Etc. etc. I thought adding all those stars for this week would make me feel good, but honestly, I just feel kind of silly. What normal adult uses star stickers for a reward? A caramel iced doughnut with heart sprinkles might make me happier. At least for a few minutes, before the guilt sets in. Sigh.

With all that being said, this lunch WAS actually yummy as well as healthy!

Lifestyle Overhaul

One of my goals for this new year is to get my health back under control. There's been far too much overindulgence over this holiday season (and really, much of last year) and it's time to turn the ship around. I've gained back weight I had lost in 2015 and then some. It's embarrassing to me and so I won't go into specifics, but I have a significant number of pounds to lose. My blood pressure was edging up into the high end of normal the last time I had it checked, and I'm not a kid anymore. With my family history of heart problems, diabetes, and obesity I need to take better care of my body and that's what I've resolved to do in 2017!

I plan to keep up the extra walking I did at work through the holiday. I have a pedometer app on my phone and during the past 4 weeks I've been easily meeting my 10,000 step per day goal just at the store. Then Gregg and I take a long walk each night with the dogs, too, so I was getting in about 12,000 steps total. Things at the job will be dramatically slower now that January is here, so I'm planning to start each day with a fast paced, hour long walk with the dogs before work to make up for it. And of course the nightly family walks will continue, too. Eventually I would love to be able to run again, which I did every morning when I was in my 20's, but for now I'll settle for two long walks each day while I try to drop some of these excess pounds. Baby steps.

I'm changing my diet dramatically, too. My biggest problem is a crazy shifting schedule that makes it too easy to eat lots of takeout, fast food, and highly processed food. Too much junk, too much soda, too many lunches and dinners at restaurants with friends. Then it was Christmas. Now that the holidays are almost officially over, it's time to do better. I went grocery shopping yesterday with a detailed list I'd made while planning healthy dinners and work lunches for the rest of the week. I'm cutting out sugar, simple carbs, and processed foods for now. I'm committing to better eating, the extra exercise, to drinking 10 to 12 glasses of water each day, and to giving up some mild self-medicating habits I've been indulging in. It's not going to be easy, but I've planned carefully and will do my best. Today is day one.

Wish me luck (and a good dose of willpower!) to make it through this first week or two, which I image will be the hardest part. Is anyone else making changes for the better this year?