Work-life stuff

 

The sunrise this morning was so beautiful. Since Thursdays are the day Gregg goes to work extra early, it was just me and George on our morning walk. 

Oftentimes these walks are the best part of my day. That's how it was today. What a long, busy, unpleasant week it's been at work! The teachers are joking about tomorrow's full moon and the lunar eclipse, saying it's making everyone act crazy, kids and parents alike. Even the school nurse, Lisa, who's about as sensible and anti-superstitious as they come, remarked on how aggressive and just flat-out weird people have been for the last few days!

Mostly students and parents have acted fine towards me, though. I try really, really hard to be the soul of patience and friendliness to them. No, it's those same old office women making me unhappy, along with a couple of members of administration who happen to be part of their little clique. To be fair, only a couple of the office women (I think) actively dislike me and are unkind. The rest of the "in crowd" just don't notice how often I'm excluded and probably don't realize there's a problem. And it's only a problem in that I get my feelings hurt.

Today was a perfect example. Our principal, Mr. Oates, and his wife welcomed a baby girl to their family early Saturday morning. He took the first three days of this week off to be with his wife and two little boys, and came back to work today. None of the "mean girls" would speak to me at all today, and wouldn't even look at me if they were walking right past my desk. It was odd and uncomfortable, but then by early afternoon I understood: I saw  two of the women quietly bringing in loads of pastel-wrapped packages, gift bags, and a cake and heading to the back office area. It was obvious that they had pooled money for gifts and a cake to surprise Mr. Oates on the day he came back to work after his daughter was born.

I would have loved the chance to contribute to the gifts and cake, and to sign the card I'm sure they had, because I genuinely like Mr. Oates and his family. I was flattered to be one of three coworkers who got an actual text from him around 8am Saturday morning with a picture of the baby and the news that she had safely arrived. (Later in the day he sent out a mass email to the rest of the school staff). I hate to think that he or his wife might think that I just didn't want to contribute! And it stings to realize you're being left out, disregarded. Things like this happen all the time these days.

There are other problems at the school that have nothing to do with me or the bullies. Some of the best teachers are leaving or retiring out of frustration. Lots of people are really unhappy. It's not just me, things are....off. We're not considered a great school in the district. Add it all up, and I've recently come to a decision. 

Sometime in the spring, when positions in the district start opening up (just ahead of everyone having to sign next year's contracts) I'm going to talk to Mr. Oates about either some sort of promotion at our school  or a transfer to something better somewhere else. Aside from the fact that I'm not enjoying my job the way I used to, after five years of hard work I'm ready to make more money and to do a little better for myself. 

Cold hands, warm heart

Winter has arrived in South Carolina, with blustery winds and gray skies and temperatures a good bit colder than normal for the early part of November. The high today was only 50 degrees (10 degrees for you Celsius peeps) and tonight the low is 39 (or 3.88C). I'm looking forward to lighting the fireplace for the first time this weekend, and also making the first batch of chili for the year. Yesterday afternoon Little P. was standing beside my desk at work, and he noticed the old, soft sweater I'd put on to fight off the chill. 

"You have a hole in your sweater" he said, pointing. 

I explained that what he was pointing at was just one of the buttonholes. He then proceeded to carefully fasten the buttons all the way down the front for me. I said, "P----, what are you doing?" 

"Buttoning you up. It's cold outside."

My heart melted. That little boy is such a gem. 

Speaking of Little P. hanging out at my desk, this week brought a big change to my work situation. The school principal and the man in charge of security for the district finally got a  front door camera/unlocking device installed in the lobby. A new, larger desk had been ordered and set up out there before Covid hit, but without cameras and a way to unlock the front doors no one could work from there. When I got to work on Monday morning, Mr. Oates told me that I'd be moving out there now that we had the doors and security sorted. I was really surprised. Within the hour, the technology department sent out a guy to move my computer, monitors, phone, intercom, and scanner to the new desk and I was ready to roll.

Which means, of course, that I no longer have to work beside the gossipy, backbiting, and lazy office women who were making me so unhappy! I'm now working from a spacious lobby area, with a view of the goldfish aquarium, and much closer access to teachers and students than I've ever had before. It's almost like those women who were driving me crazy no longer exist. They're hidden away inside the inner offices, and I'm fine with that. I'm so much happier! What a stroke of luck.

My new desk with the sweater Little P. "buttoned me up" into draped over my chair:

A few teachers and other staff members have hinted that they're happy that I've moved, too, and now they can bypass the main office and come straight to me when they need something. One even said, "You're the only one who ever made me feel welcome in there. The others are rude." So it definitely wasn't just me!

I like the change for more reasons than just being away from the office ladies, though. I've enjoyed having the custodians, students, teachers, aides, therapists, etc. etc. coming and going all day, being friendly and stopping to chat and making me feel welcome in my new spot. Two teenaged girls have been stopping by my desk sometimes to talk about the goldfish. They claim they can tell the boys and girls apart, and they've given five of the nine names: Vinny, Jacob, Kenny, Thelma, and Felicia. Haha!

 I have a feeling I'm going to have some fun in my new spot. I'm already enjoying myself out there, even if the lobby is a bit drafty and cold in the winter. I'll be keeping the sweater handy, and maybe I'll even get a small electric kettle for making cups of hot tea at my desk. 

November is off to a good start.

Two weeks left

I realized yesterday that I only have two full weeks left before I go back to work. Teachers and 190 day staff (that's me) go back on August 24th and the students return two weeks later, the day after Labor Day. It seems hard to believe that I'm so close to going back to a normal work schedule after being at home since mid-March. I've been so sidetracked with Ginger the last couple of weeks that all of a sudden it seems like I have a ton of things left to do to prepare and very little time left to get them done. I need to do a major closet overhaul, for instance. I know beyond a doubt that I need some new work clothes, and since I've avoided all non-essential shopping for months now even some basic items (like underwear) are wearing out and looking ratty. I'm going to have to brave the shops over the next two weeks to buy new clothes. I could really use a haircut, too. 

With the way Covid-19 is still spreading in our community, no one knows how long we'll actually be able to keep the schools open. I suspect another lockdown may be in our future. Our positive percentage rate in South Carolina is hovering around 20%, which is super high. At the beginning of all this they said that in order to reopen schools and businesses safely we needed to be down to 5%. So we're not even close to that. Still, my particular district has a very detailed, well-thought out plan to reopen schools as safely as possible. Our Superintendent has done a great job and I feel about as safe going back as I'm going to feel given the circumstances. There's a lot of fear and anxiety among teachers, staff, parents, and the community though. What a mess this whole thing has been. 

I'm dreading the thought of leaving Ginger, too. Gregg has always been her favorite person, but something has changed now that her health is failing. All of a sudden, as he said yesterday, "She's turned into a mama's girl." She's been sticking to me like glue, even following me around the house day and night. She sleeps on the rug beside my side of the bed. She tries to be near me all the time. I'm sure she'll be fine when I go back to work, and she sleeps a lot during the day anyway, but it still gives me a pang to think of leaving her for 8 hours at a time. I've also turned into the lightest sleeper ever now that she's been sick. If she starts to breathe hard during the night I instantly wake up and check on her. I'm not sure how to fix that, but I do know I need to be able to get a good night's sleep once I'm working again. I guess it's another thing I'll have to take as it comes. I hope Ginger continues to do as well as she has been so far. Here's a picture of her standing in front of George last night to beg for tidbits off my plate:

And here's another of her sneaking around in the bushes in front of our house. She loves going back in there to sniff around:

Doesn't she look happy? I didn't believe, at the beginning of this week, that I would ever see her like this again. I didn't even think she'd still be here at this point. I'm so grateful that we're getting some more good days with her, however few they may end up being. 

Well, I guess I'd better get off the computer and start making a list of all the things I need to accomplish in the next two weeks. I think returning to work full time is going to be good for my mental health, so except for leaving the animals, I'm really looking forward to it.

Like a shot in the arm

It's Thursday morning and already I can say that it's been a better week. I feel better and much more cheerful.

On Monday I was scheduled to go in to work and answer phones for a few hours. The administrators were there working hard to put together a virtual awards ceremony video. Due to a change in how registration was done last summer, over half of our students didn't have "media release" forms on file letting us know if we had their parents' permission to use their photos and names in something that would be shared on social media. Between honor roll, various school awards, and a photo montage of all of our 8th graders (in lieu of a middle school graduation) we had over 300 students whose parents and guardians needed to be contacted! I offered to come back the next day to help and the principal immediately took me up on it. So I went back Tuesday and worked a full day alongside him, his three assistant principals, and two other staff members they managed to find. I personally called and spoke to almost 60 parents and left messages for about two dozen more. By 4:30 I was beginning to stumble over my words a bit and my voice was started to go hoarse so I knew it was time to quit for the day. I haven't talked to so many people in months! Yesterday I went back and finished, I still had about a dozen parents to contact left on the my list. In between all these lengthy phone calls explaining who I was, what we needed and why, and how to access the video, I was also taking pictures of our Teacher of the Year and Support Staff of the Year and doing write ups on them and posting them to our school's social media. 

So yeah, I was busy. And I loved it! It felt so good to be contributing to the school again! It was even nice to talk on the phone to so many parents that I know--some of whom were desperate to talk after weeks of lockdown which I totally get. It was a treat to sit and have lunch with a few of my coworkers, too. The principal bought us all lunch and we gathered in a conference room, spread apart some, to eat it and there was much laughing and talking. Going to work for three days has made all the difference in how I feel.

Another great thing happened on Monday afternoon. When I got home from work Gregg and I went outside and trimmed some bushes in front of the house. While we were working on that, I got a text from Marla saying she wanted to drop something off at my house for us. I told her to come on by, that we were outside. A few minutes later her, her husband, and the baby pulled up. Marla got out of the car and stood several feet away and we got to talk face to face for the first time in months! She had brought two cupcakes for us to try. The baby's birthday is later this month and she's planning to make strawberry cupcakes for the party. And get this---it's going to be a Zoom birthday party! No one will actually be at their house except the three of them.

Luscious

I was so happy to see them. The baby was in a carseat in the back, and I said to her, "Carsen! I'm so happy to see you!" and she responded in her tiny little voice, "See you....."

I've missed that little girl so much.

I got a little teary when they left. I swear, I'm turning into a weepy, emotional mess in my old age.

So that's been my week so far. I'm feeling much, much better. Thank you all for the nice comments and support on my last post.

How are you doing this week?

So much for that!

Well, I won't be getting that perfect attendance bonus this year at work. I had to leave early today. I have an appointment to see my doctor about my back at 2:15....yes, I finally broke down and called the doctor. I'm not sure what they're going to be able to do for me, since I already have muscle relaxers and no one ever wants to prescribe good pain medicine these days. I asked the school nurse (I have a lot of faith in her) if it was worthwhile to go, and she said yes. She said it wouldn't hurt to have an x-ray done to make sure something isn't really wrong.

I hate missing work and losing out on the bonus this early in the year, although honestly I suppose it's better that way. I'd really be mad if I struggled all this year to go to work, sick or not, and then was forced to call out during the last few weeks! Last year our band director dragged himself into work with the flu in early May because he was determined not to lose out. That's going too far, in my opinion, when you're risking getting others sick. He had plans to use that money for his honeymoon spending cash (he got married in June) and so I didn't blame him, but honestly he should have just stayed home.

Since sick time can only be used in half or whole day increments, I left work at 12 even though my appointment isn't until 2:15. If they make me do x-rays there's no telling how long I'll be there. I hate going to the doctor! I'd much rather still be at work.

Oh, well.....wish me luck. Hopefully it's just a pulled muscle or something equally minor, and hopefully they'll have pity on me and give me something decent for pain relief. Motrin just isn't cutting it!

I'll check in later. Thanks for all the responses on my last post!

First day back...

This is how it started:

Marco loves to hang out with me in the morning. Sometimes he showers with me, sometimes he just perches on the shower curtain rod while I get ready. That's what he was doing this morning when he decided to jump down and land with a *plop* on top of my towel-covered head. I had to go grab my phone and get a picture. It was too funny to resist.

Then I went to work, and as soon as I sat down at my desk and started answering the phones it was like the last several weeks off never happened. The district rolled out a new online registration process that has a lot of parents confused and frustrated. It's beginning to look like next week (when the students come back) is going to be a bit...chaotic. We'll see.

It's still crazy hot outside. Putting on makeup again in the morning is unpleasant, since it's so easy to sweat it right off just walking to and from your car. As one of the local meteorologists put it on social media today:




That's as good a description of life here in the summer as I've ever seen!

All in all, it was an "okay" first day back. And hey, there's only 189 more work days to go until my next summer vacation!

A good day

Today was my first day back at work. My first official day back will be on Monday, but teachers and other 190 day staff (like me) had the option to work today and/or tomorrow to help with registration and to accrue some "comp time". I volunteered to work both days; since personal and sick days can only be used in half or whole day increments, it's handy to have a bank of hours to draw from if you just need an hour or two off here and there. 

I'm really glad I decided to go in today. I was reminded again of how lucky I am when I got there this morning and saw so many friendly faces--I genuinely like most of the teachers and staff and it was a pleasure seeing everyone again.** When I saw the new principal I congratulated him on his promotion (he was the 8th grade assistant principal last year) and told him how glad I was for him. He thanked me, hugged me, and said, "Mrs. Barlow, I think we're going to have a really good year!" The staff thinks so, too. Everyone was happy when we got the news that he had been offered the job; he's universally liked and respected. I enjoyed chatting and catching up with some of my especial friends among the staff this morning, and I have an easy job these two days: sitting at a table selling t-shirts with school logos to the students getting registered for classes. Easy, easy. The volleyball coach and the music teacher sat at my table most of the day today and we all talked in between selling shirts. It didn't feel like a work day at all, really.

I did see lots of returning students, now 8th graders, who astonished me with how much they had grown and matured over the summer. At my age, 10 weeks or so feels like nothing, gone in the blink of an eye. I had forgotten how much you can change over the course of a summer when you're around 13 years old. It was all interesting and the time went by quickly.

Tomorrow will be the same thing, selling t-shirts and hanging out, and then I'll have a three day weekend to close out my summer. I'm trying to think of something fun to do this weekend to mark the end of my vacation. And after that, it's on to another new (school) year!

** One of the best parts of seeing everyone again after so many weeks was how many of them noticed my weight loss! I don't think it's all that noticeable if you see me every day, because I've been losing at a slow (albeit steady) rate. I asked Gregg early on if he could see a difference and he admitted he couldn't, and I've not asked him again. It felt so good to have person after person say, "You look great! Have you.....?" One of the career counselors, who has been working on losing a lot of weight herself this year, approached me with a big smile and her arms out for a hug, saying "Look at you! Look at you!"  I still have a good bit of weight left to lose, but today was a huge morale boost!

Appreciation?

It's the last day of  Employee Appreciation Week at Ye Olde Corporate Bookstore.

What a joke. Especially at my particular location.

The official celebration consists of three things. First, an extra 10% added to our employee discount for a week. Which can't be combined with any other deals or specials going on. They're basically saying, "We appreciate your hard work all year so much, we're going to give you an incentive to spend back some of the money you've earned with us! Thanks!"  The second part of the "celebration" is one employee meal for the staff. A meal where there's only about $4-5 to be spent per person. The total will barely pay for a sandwich platter from Subway, so the company suggests that we turn it into a potluck and just use the funds they provide to buy the main entrée. They want us to do extra shopping and spend our money there, and they also want us to provide most of our own appreciation meal! Lest you think I'm being ungrateful, I'll point out that our store is the smallest in our region, and it alone makes more than 3 million dollars a year. It would be completely different if we worked for a small, locally owned business with far fewer resources.

The third thing that should be happening this week never will: store managers are supposed to go out of their way to thank everyone for all the things they do well. That would actually be nice, but our manager is completely and utterly burned out and mentally checked out. She's a nice enough person, but is obviously long past the point where she should have either found another position or taken early retirement. She never thinks to thank anyone for anything, ever. Nor does she notice what's going on around her most of the time at work. I don't know of anyone who feels appreciated there. I certainly don't.

Appreciation and validation are so important at work. I realized how much I miss a more supportive atmosphere last month when two managers from other stores in the region visited us for a week. We have some problems at our store (not the least of which is high turnover) and the two people they sent train new managers in the district. They were sent by the district manager to work at our store for a week to observe, make suggestions, and try to figure out where some of the problems lie. Both of the people he sent were mature, professional, and helpful. And on three separate occasions, I got big praise from the two of them. I've become so accustomed to never hearing any positive feedback that all three times I found myself blushing and then glowing with pride for hours afterward. Every day when I left work that week, I felt like I was walking on air. Of course things went right back to normal as soon as they left. But it was a great reminder that I have been (and can be again) so much happier at work than I am right now! The lack of appreciation is high on my list of grievances, and reasons why I'm looking to move on.

So Employee Appreciation Week falls a little flat for this employee!

More naps, please.

This is how I feel this week after several late nights followed by two early mornings at work. I took a long nap yesterday afternoon, and slept in this morning, but I still don't feel like I've caught up on my sleep.

I have a rare weekend off after tonight's late shift, though! I think a couple more good naps will be on the agenda.

Do you like to take naps?