Saturday ramble

Well, the weekend has rolled around again and once again, we have a gray, chilly, wet day. We've had a lot of rain this year, and consistently cold temperatures. I don't mind the cold but the endless gloom is getting old. On the rare afternoons when it's not totally overcast it's been heartening to see the extra minutes of daylight we've gained so far. 

An email went out at work last week that the district is making plans for our vaccine rollout. They've been partnering with one of the local hospitals to make sure that as soon as the shots are available to school employees we'll be able to get them. That was nice, but then later that same day I heard on the news that our lovely Guh-vuh-nuh (Ol' Foghorn Leghorn, as I like to call him, the bastard) is balking at the state department's insistence that educators need to be cleared for the vaccines. This is after he's pushed and pushed for schools to remain open, no matter what. So who knows when it will happen, but I'm hopeful that by the beginning of March our turn will come. The school nurse had her second shot on Thursday, lucky thing, as all school nurses and some types of therapists were already given the green light. What a relief it must be for her! I can't wait for my turn.

Saturdays have been long and lonely for me lately. Gregg works until 7pm or a bit later on Saturdays these days in exchange for an extra day off each week (Sundays). Pre-pandemic I treasured time at home by myself, but now that that's my only option on Saturdays I'm growing tired of it. Hopefully by the summer most of our friends and family will have had the vaccine and we can relax a little about socializing.

I was thinking that I'd like to host a small cookout this summer--Marla and Martina along with their husbands, Toyo and Will, as long as we're all vaccinated by then. It would be so good to have a small gathering of friends, mask free, when we can all be together and talk and eat and laugh and feel like normal human beings again. It's nice to look ahead to that time and plan for a party (or two) to celebrate. It's something I've been thinking about all day today.

I did go out and run a few errands after lunch. I picked up a prescription for Gregg at the drugstore, went by the bank to make an ATM deposit, then to the grocery store for a big (much needed) shop. I even went by the butcher shop and restocked our freezer with meats, since we've almost finished what I stocked up on back in the fall. I've also started making a "spring cleaning" list for the house. If we're going to be able to finally invite people over by the start of summer, I'd like to give the whole house a good deep cleaning between now and then. 

Are you making any plans for your post-jab year? What are you looking forward to most by the time summer gets here?

Oh, and just for fun....I thought this might make you smile. It made me smile. Have a good weekend, everyone.

50/50

 This morning I asked our school nurse how she felt about us coming back to work and the kids coming back to school (in person) while the pandemic continues to rage through our community. We were discussing how bad our county's numbers still are, how many people we knew of that are seriously ill, how many people have died. Just yesterday the son of a friend of ours stopped by the pet store to tell Gregg that his dad had just died of Covid. The nicest man you'd ever want to meet, with three kids (two of whom are in their late teens), gone. Our school resource officer, listening to our conversation, told us his 47 year old brother just died from Covid over the Christmas break. These stories are everywhere at the moment. The nurse told me she's torn on the issue. She said her feelings about whether to come back are pretty much a 50/50 split between whether or not it's the right thing to do. I certainly understand where she's coming from.

Part of me thinks that a year or so of lost schooling, bad grades, and truancy (all serious problems since last March) can be made up, but a life can never be replaced. And so many people in our community are still being so very irresponsible. A large group of well-to-do parents at the high school our middle school feeds into took it upon themselves to host a large dance at the local country club last weekend, and then filled up social media with pictures of their two dozen or so kids dancing, posing for photos, and having a grand old time---with no masks, no social distancing, and no mention of any safety protocols. They were upset that the school wasn't hosting the dance this year and decided that their precious teenagers shouldn't have to "miss out". The district office even shared these photos on Facebook, then quickly deleted those posts when there was a huge community outcry. That was last weekend--right before we all came back to school face-to-face. 

The sheer callousness and entitlement made me furious. Just furious. These people have zero respect for the lives or well being of others. I wish there was some way to make all those parents and their bratty kids stay home and quarantine until we can be sure they're not carriers, but of course we can't. And besides, what good would it do? If they'll be so blatant about an expensive social event as to put it all over Facebook, what kind of precautions must they be taking on ordinary days? Probably next to none. 

But then there's another angle to our schools being out that I can't stop thinking about. There's a sweet little boy in our disabled class who lives in foster care. He's non verbal and sometimes has to use a wheelchair. A couple of months ago when he arrived at school for the day and the classroom staff went to change his diaper, they saw visible evidence that he had been abused. They called the school nurse down to have a look and to get her opinion, and she immediately said, "Call DSS. And this child needs to go to the hospital." What a blessing that this poor boy had the school staff to look out for signs of abuse and to help him! And if we'd not been at school that week, no one would have known. I shudder to think of all the things that can slip through the cracks more easily when kids aren't at school. Then, of course, we have so many kids that depend on us for things like two full meals a day. They have drive-through meal pickups every day while we're out on virtual learning, but how many poor folks lack transportation to come and get it? Despite all best efforts to provide services to poor kids, they're definitely at a disadvantage when we're forced to stay home. Also, for lots of our students school is a safe place where they get emotional support, too, and I'm sure schools closing are damaging to their mental health. (Another reason why I get so mad when I hear the wealthy parents of the popular kids whining about their little snowflakes "missing out" on parties and sporting events and dances!)

So I'm kind of like the school nurse: split 50/50 on whether it's a good idea for us to be back at school in person. What do you think? Do the risks outweigh the benefits, or vice versa?

Pandemic Christmas

 It's shaping up to be the oddest holiday season of my life, and I'm sure it's the same for every one of you reading this. Yesterday South Carolina set a Covid record: over 3200 new positive cases and 49 reported deaths, and that's in a single day. Some counties in the state have hospitals at 100% capacity with no available beds, so the situation is becoming more dire by the day.

 At my school (and all the other schools in our district) the number of cases have also been going up and up and up, and that's not even counting the number of students and staff who are required to stay home and quarantine because of exposure to someone who's positive. It's a real mess. The school board announced that we'll get out earlier for the holiday break than originally planned, with our last day being the 18th instead of the 23rd. Even so, our (wonderful) school nurse told me yesterday that she's shocked that we haven't gone back all virtual given how bad the district numbers are trending.People are becoming frightened and even a bit paranoid, like a couple of teachers who've been going for weekly Covid tests despite having no symptoms and everyone taking rigorous precautions. I can't blame them. A few teachers across the state with no pre existing conditions have actually died. And far too many people in the community simply refuse to believe in the seriousness of this virus and continue to go about their normal activities, maskless and fancy free. They make me furious. If it were only their own ignorant selves they were endangering, that would be fine with me, but unfortunately we're all at risk because of them. Our current record breaking numbers are the fallout from Thanksgiving gatherings, and January is going to be even more deadly once we're a couple of weeks past Christmas.

As for the approach of Christmas, our already short list of people to buy gifts for is shorter than usual. We won't be seeing any family or friends for the foreseeable future to exchange presents, and the truth is that this has been such an expensive year for us, both in terms of lost income and emergencies to pay for, that we would need to curtail most gift buying anyway. I did buy a Christmas present for my buddy, Little P., though. 

That kid is forever making paper airplanes. He's fairly obsessed with them. Unfortunately, he doesn't really know how to make them properly so they never work very well and are kind of sad, but he remains undeterred. On Thursday afternoon he brought his latest one to show me. He threw it, and it went all of one foot then it hit the floor with a plop. He smiled. I said, "You really love paper airplanes, don't you?" and he replied "I was born to make paper airplanes!" Hahaha. That boy cracks me up! So when I saw this kit at the bookstore that evening (I had dashed in to buy Christmas cards) I knew he would love it.

I'm planning to cook and bake a lot less than usual this Christmas. There will still be a ham, and a few favorite snacks, appetizers, and simple meals. I may even bake a batch or two of cookies, but that's about it. We've had our tree up for a while now, and last weekend we strung some colored lights on the back porch, for fun. 

So many houses in our little neighborhood have lights and decorations up this year! We enjoy looking at them when we're out walking George at night. Even in pandemic times those simple pleasures can be enjoyed safely. Here are two houses I've gotten pictures of so far.

I should be finishing up my Christmas cards this weekend and getting them mailed out next week. I love sending them and I really love receiving them. That's another thing that can be enjoyed safely....reaching out via card or letter to friends and family. I sure will miss seeing everyone this year, but it's kind of nice in a way to have an excuse to do less and have a simpler holiday for once.

What kind of holiday plans do you have this crazy year? How do you feel about it all? 

Quarantine-while

 Stephen Colbert has had a segment on The Late Show called "Quarantine-while" that over the last several months has taken the place of "Meanwhile".....a short humorous roundup of news that may have escaped notice with so many big stories to report on. Here's a recent one: 

Meanwhile....I'm quarantining in my house for the next day or two pending results of the Covid test I had this morning. 

As an allergy sufferer I'm prone to a ticklish cough in my throat that usually doesn't concern me. Along with the occasional runny nose, sneezing, and puffy eyes first thing in the morning, it's just part of my baseline. I've had that kind of cough for a couple of days now, but have felt fine. Then this morning I woke up with actual congestion in my chest and some very slight wheezing when I breathe deeply. That's not a normal part of allergies. 

Although I feel okay otherwise, I called the school nurse and asked her opinion. Our school (as well as the district as a whole) has rising positive case numbers as well as a huge wave of students and staff who have been exposed to someone with the virus and must stay at home until they're tested. Our state, like much of the country, is suddenly experiencing record-setting case spikes and our hospitals are becoming overwhelmed. Out of an abundance of caution, the nurse and I decided that it would be best if I got a test and quarantined at home for a day or two in the meantime. The district has a testing agreement with MUSC here in Florence (one of our two major hospitals) and I was able to get a drive-up Covid swab for free.

The test was quick and easy, and except for the swab making my nose burn for the 10 seconds they had to leave it stuck up there it wasn't even very uncomfortable. What is uncomfortable is waiting for the results. I really don't think I have it, as I've been very careful about social distancing, handwashing, and mask wearing plus I don't feel very bad at all. No fever, no loss of taste or smell, no other indication of anything weird except possibly some extra tiredness and feeling chilled (despite warm clothes and normally running more hot than cold) very recently. 

I really hope this isn't Covid! More even than for myself I worry about giving it to my husband. We both have pre-existing conditions (mild asthma for me, a cancer history for him) so neither of us can really afford to catch it. I'll be isolating myself in the house as much as possible until the results come in, which should be in 24 to 48 hours. 

Meanwhile (quarantine-while!) I'm going to try to relax and enjoy the time at home since I feel okay. I'm re-starting a book I liked but never finished some years ago called Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell and cooking a crockpot full of pinto beans for our supper tonight. The weather has turned cold and I've been enjoying sitting by the fire in the evenings, with the Christmas tree lit. Hopefully this dreaded virus hasn't infiltrated our home--talk about spoiling the holidays! Wish us luck.

Not today

 This was the sensible lady ahead of me in line at Food Lion just now. I felt safe checking out after her!

                                                         "Not today, 'Rona!"

Month Ten (of the longest year ever)

October is here and 2020 continues it's run of being the craziest year ever. You couldn't make this shit up. I don't have much to say about the POTUS being sick. I'm trying hard to swallow the mean, small part of me that thinks he deserves whatever comes to him. I can't feel too sorry for him as a person, but I will admit that (I guess because of the office he holds) I got a lump in my throat when I saw him getting off the helicopter at Walter Reed. These are precarious times for our country. I can't imagine the resulting chaos if he should happen to die, and I hope that doesn't happen. What I want to see happen is him to get voted out of office in a landslide in November and then just go away. Not to the graveyard, mind you, just away. I can't wait until he's out of our national consciousness and we can hopefully start to heal and move on as a country.

Trying to be a bigger person won't stop me from posting these memes for your enjoyment, though.

On the increasing consensus that the original "super spreader event" was the Rose Garden event at the White House to announce the new nominee to the Supreme Court:

On right-wing hypocrisy:

It's sad that that last one is only funny because it's so true. Anyone who has Trump loving friends on social media know what I'm talking about.

Onto more pleasant topics. Martina dropped off a copy of  Solutions and Other Problems by Allie Brosh that she bought for me yesterday and I finished it this morning. It was funny, just like her first book, but the part where she talks about her health problems and then the sudden death of her younger sister was heart wrenching. I'll do a quick review of this book as well as a few others I've read recently in a later post, but suffice it to say this book was worth the wait.

Today I went bought a larger, prettier planter for the ficus tree on the porch. We're getting ready to bring it back inside for the winter.

And since it is October now, I added to decorative jack o' lanterns to our front porch.

I hope you're all having a good weekend, and that all my American friends are keeping stress and anxiety at bay as well as you can. 

Two weeks left

I realized yesterday that I only have two full weeks left before I go back to work. Teachers and 190 day staff (that's me) go back on August 24th and the students return two weeks later, the day after Labor Day. It seems hard to believe that I'm so close to going back to a normal work schedule after being at home since mid-March. I've been so sidetracked with Ginger the last couple of weeks that all of a sudden it seems like I have a ton of things left to do to prepare and very little time left to get them done. I need to do a major closet overhaul, for instance. I know beyond a doubt that I need some new work clothes, and since I've avoided all non-essential shopping for months now even some basic items (like underwear) are wearing out and looking ratty. I'm going to have to brave the shops over the next two weeks to buy new clothes. I could really use a haircut, too. 

With the way Covid-19 is still spreading in our community, no one knows how long we'll actually be able to keep the schools open. I suspect another lockdown may be in our future. Our positive percentage rate in South Carolina is hovering around 20%, which is super high. At the beginning of all this they said that in order to reopen schools and businesses safely we needed to be down to 5%. So we're not even close to that. Still, my particular district has a very detailed, well-thought out plan to reopen schools as safely as possible. Our Superintendent has done a great job and I feel about as safe going back as I'm going to feel given the circumstances. There's a lot of fear and anxiety among teachers, staff, parents, and the community though. What a mess this whole thing has been. 

I'm dreading the thought of leaving Ginger, too. Gregg has always been her favorite person, but something has changed now that her health is failing. All of a sudden, as he said yesterday, "She's turned into a mama's girl." She's been sticking to me like glue, even following me around the house day and night. She sleeps on the rug beside my side of the bed. She tries to be near me all the time. I'm sure she'll be fine when I go back to work, and she sleeps a lot during the day anyway, but it still gives me a pang to think of leaving her for 8 hours at a time. I've also turned into the lightest sleeper ever now that she's been sick. If she starts to breathe hard during the night I instantly wake up and check on her. I'm not sure how to fix that, but I do know I need to be able to get a good night's sleep once I'm working again. I guess it's another thing I'll have to take as it comes. I hope Ginger continues to do as well as she has been so far. Here's a picture of her standing in front of George last night to beg for tidbits off my plate:

And here's another of her sneaking around in the bushes in front of our house. She loves going back in there to sniff around:

Doesn't she look happy? I didn't believe, at the beginning of this week, that I would ever see her like this again. I didn't even think she'd still be here at this point. I'm so grateful that we're getting some more good days with her, however few they may end up being. 

Well, I guess I'd better get off the computer and start making a list of all the things I need to accomplish in the next two weeks. I think returning to work full time is going to be good for my mental health, so except for leaving the animals, I'm really looking forward to it.

Summer 2020

Marla and Martina came over for a masked visit Monday night. Masked, because it's far too hot to even think of sitting outside on the porch to maintain distance. Have you heard of "maskne"? Getting acne on your face underneath where a mask goes? That's happening to me. Even sitting inside in the air conditioned house, I'll sweat under a mask and yesterday morning I woke up with a painful zit on my chin. A small price to pay to get to safely socialize for a couple of hours.

It was great to see them both, but I couldn't entirely shake the despondency that I've been feeling for the last while. At times like these I'm glad that I'm taking a low maintenance dose of an antidepressant. I can feel the darkness of anxiety and depression lurking around the edges of my consciousness. A whole variety of stressors are contributing to it, I think, many of which everyone reading is likely experiencing to some degree these days. 

I made a couple of pizzas (which didn't turn out well at all....the pepperoni tasted funny and I burned the crusts a little bit) and also some cupcakes from a box mix that had been sitting in the back of the pantry since the lockdown began in March. Martina had just had a birthday, hence the cupcakes. Marla brought over a case of hard ciders to share.  It's weird sitting with friends and everyone wearing a mask. I sometimes wonder if life will ever get back to normal. 

Oh, and Marla's parents and grandma sent us a huge bag of homegrown tomatoes from their garden! I made BLTs with some of them last night, and they're the most delicious tomatoes we've had this year.

I've done some reading lately, but most of it's been re-reading favorites. The exception was a $1.99 e-book I downloaded of Shirley Jackson short stories. I really liked The Haunting of Hill House and We Have Always Lived in the Castle, and all the stories have the same kind of creepy/unsettling vibe. Fun summer reading.

We've also been watching the HBO documentary I'll Be Gone in the Dark, about the crime blogger and writer Michelle McNamara's search for the Golden State Killer. The GSK was a notorious serial killer and rapist who terrorized parts of California in the '70s and early '80s and the case had long gone cold. Thanks to the attention her work reignited, they actually caught the guy a couple of years ago. The FBI was able to track him down by searching ancestry databanks from companies like 23 and Me for distant relatives of his who shared some of his DNA. After all these decades, the monster is finally in prison where he belongs, and the story of the search for him has been fascinating. The documentary is also about McNamara, who unfortunately passed away suddenly the year before and didn't get to see the killer get caught. That's a shame. I'm not normally a person who enjoys true crime type shows or podcasts, but I've been enjoying this one and can highly recommend it.

Besides reading and watching tv, I haven't been doing anything much worth mentioning. The heat and humidity have been terrible. Going outside just isn't fun. I'm tired of being so homebound. Except for the grocery store, I rarely go anywhere unless I have to make a trip to the drugstore or to put gas in the car. When I run one of these errands I usually drive around town a little while I'm out, just to get a break from being at home. When I think of how badly I've needed and wanted time off in the past when I was working a lot and life was normal, I feel guilty about not enjoying all this free time. Still, it's just been too much. If I could do more normal things like visit friends, go to book club (it looks like we won't be resuming that at all this year), go to the library or the thrift stores to browse, then things would be different. In this city and this state, coronavirus is running rampant and doing any of those things would be risky. It's bad enough worrying about going back to school in another month. Just yesterday our local news reported that a neighboring school district (Darlington) had 6 cafeteria workers test positive for the virus. They were working at the schools' summer feeding programs for the community. Now all the school cafeterias are closed down for disinfecting and the workers are in quarantine. And that's just when they're making summer lunches for some of the kids! Who knows how bad things will get once we reopen. As much as I want to go back to work, I'm dreading what the fallout may be. Gregg wears a mask all day long at the pet store or when he's servicing aquariums, sometimes for up to 10 hours a day, and still he's worried because our numbers are so bad and so many people continue to refuse to honor the mask requirement. He's wishing now he had gone to work at first when the virus numbers were still low, and could take some time off now that things are so much riskier. If things continue to go downhill he might have to anyway. 

All in all, it hasn't exactly been a stellar summer, has it?

Purpose

It's good to have a sense of purpose. After all these weeks of staying at home, feeling aimless and disconnected from the life we had pre-pandemic, it's nice to have a reason to get up in the morning and something to work towards. Even small things make a difference.

I've been up to the school several times in the last week. First of all, the principal called and asked me to come down to the school and if I'd do him a favor. Our phone system got updated and now there's a menu when you call, one of those "press 1 for so-and-so, press 2 for....." recordings. Since I do most of the morning and afternoon announcements, and everyone claims I have a great voice for it, the principal wanted me to be "the voice of the school" and record the menu options for the phones. I was happy to! I ended up having to drive down to the district office and meet with the head of technology to make the recordings, but it only took a few minutes. Later that afternoon, the principal called me up and gushed about what a great job he thought I'd done! This will actually benefit me more than anybody; I answer 90% of the calls to the school (maybe more) so this will divert a lot of those calls to the person they're meant for instead of going through the main office. Hooray! It's something we should've done years ago.

Then I spent all day at the school on Monday, helping Gregg set up the new aquarium in the lobby!  For those of you keeping up with this project, here are two photos I took after everything was up and running. Since the fish aren't in there yet, and two powerful filters are running, the water is so glossy clear that one of the passing custodians asked me if there was water in it yet!

I love the stark rocks and the spare aquascape that Gregg came up with! It mirrors the design of the tank, stand, and hood really well. It's going to look great once the Shubunkin goldfish arrive.

Even wholesale pet suppliers are experiencing disruptions in supply chains due to the pandemic, but Gregg was able to get a bundle of the goldfish into the pet store after calling a long time wholesaler contact in Atlanta and asking for a favor. He picked out the best dozen for our school. They're in a small tank at the store right now, but as soon as he's sure they're healthy they'll be coming to their new home! Eventually a 72 gallon tank (that's what this is) will be far too small for a dozen goldfish, but it'll be a while before they get that big. They're only 3-4 inches right now. The long term plan is to have either 3 or 5 large, wiggly, pet-like fish living in this tank, whichever ones grow out to be the prettiest. They should end up between 8-10 inches long in a few years if all goes well. Of course, Gregg will re-home any extras from the original dozen.


Shubunkin goldfish, stock photos:






The principal and the few staff members still working right now seem to love the new tank!
It's prominent in the lobby and should get a lot of attention when school reopens. Gregg was able to get us a good deal on everything, and he decided not to charge the school for the labor to set the aquarium up. That and the tank itself is his gift to the school. I'm so proud of him! Of course, he'll be making a little extra money each month for maintaining a second tank, but even that he's cutting them a break on. My husband is a really good guy. :)

Helping him set up the new tank, recording the messages for the phone system, running by the school today to drop off an invoice for the bookkeeper....all this has kept me just busy enough in the last several days to make me feel better. I've still been struggling to find purpose in my days. If ever I thought a lot of time off work and time to stay at home sounded appealing, I've been disabused of that notion in the last four months. I hate sitting at home day after day. Maybe if there wasn't a pandemic and I had all this time off it would be okay, who knows. For instance, I'd love to resume my Guardian ad Litem duties, but with South Carolina a hotspot of infection, now is definitely not the time for that. I've had to (regretfully) let that go by the wayside. Although I love and believe in the work, a 9-5 office job doesn't lend itself to regular family court appearances. Nor did it give me a good time to meet with childrens' school teachers and counselors, which is an essential part of serving as a GAL. I think I may have to put off that kind of volunteer work until I'm retired, not merely staying home because of a virus. It's too bad, though. I could do a lot of good with all the time I have to spare these days.

It definitely looks like I'll be going back to work soon, though. Governor McMaster gave a press conference today where he basically said he wants the schools to reopen for in-person instruction after Labor Day no matter what. Teachers and parents are frightened and angry, which I understand. As for me, I'll do whatever I'm asked to do. Maybe by then our city's new mask requirement will help to tamp down the infection rate. In any event, I'll be sitting behind a counter and behind a desk (several feet away from others) in the office, wearing a mask, and being vigilant about hand washing. I'd be lying if I said I was upset about the prospect of going back, though. I need that sense of  purpose in my days.

How do you retain a sense of purpose and balance in these strange times? Does your work/contribution to society have an effect on your feelings of self worth? I'm finding that a sense of purpose in life is important to me (I never knew this about myself). Is this true for you, too?

The pandemic: a rant

South Carolina is finally excelling at something!!!

Per capita we're in third place in the entire world for the rate of new Covid-19 infections. Yay, us!

Can you hear the sarcasm dripping from this post so far? Read on if you feel like reading a rant...otherwise, don't say you weren't warned.

No time soon....

That's when life will get back to normal after Covid-19. No time soon.

Our local school board met on Thursday night and voted to delay our schools' reopening by a month.  Now staff go back August 24 (instead of late July) and students go back the day after Labor Day, September 8th. We were set to begin a modified year-round schedule this year, but now that's been delayed to 2021-2022. Our Superintendent said (wisely, I thought) that he couldn't justify sending thousands of students back to school in five weeks with the way things are going in South Carolina. Today we set a record....again....for new C19 cases and all of a sudden we're one of the new hotspots. Who knows if school will be able to reopen even after delaying a month? Right now they're just buying time to try and work out safety protocols, and the Superintendent even said, bluntly, that we'll be watching other schools reopen ahead of us and getting an idea of what's working and what's not. I'm really, really grateful for him. He's relatively new to the district and very forward thinking and progressive.  I just hope, no matter what happens with the district, that my job will be safe once this crisis is over.

Meanwhile, toilet paper supplies are almost back to normal around here. How's the TP supply in your area? The main things I still see shortages of around here are hand soap, rubbing alcohol, hand sanitizer, and Lysol wipes. Today I went ahead and stocked back up on the toilet paper. The plan is to replenish my pantry and freezer within the next couple of weeks, because I have a feeling that no matter how much our "guhvuhnuh" McMaster doesn't want to shut us down again, he'll have no choice before much longer. And if not now, then early in the fall when the second wave hits. Wait until flu season gets here on top of C19. I shudder to think of it.

What do you say? I know some of my readers live in other developing hotspots. Are you preparing for a second lockdown/shelter in place scenario?

Another week slips by

I just got into an argument with somebody looking to troll a friend's post on Facebook. You'd think I'd know better by now. I did have the slight satisfaction of pissing off a young white guy so much he said I needed to have a look "at what the bible says about women attempting to educate men!" and I nearly spit out my drink when I burst out laughing.

So. That was rather nice.

Anyway, how have you all been? It's been a long empty week here at Casa de Sparrow without much to recommend it. Covid-19 cases are still rising alarmingly in this state. Things are so bad all of a sudden that there's talk about schools not opening after all in August. I can't help but fret for my job. Gregg is working more hours at the pet store to make up some of his lost income. I worry about him being exposed to the public, but who knows when his maintenance jobs will come back. Three of the best paying ones are in nursing homes and there's no end in sight for those places being under quarantine. Of course with a significant chunk of his income being gone, we're having to tighten the purse strings. Which is fine, but it's getting a little old. So many of the things I need/want to do around the house require money, even in small amounts, and I'm trying really hard to strictly limit unnecessary spending. I shouldn't complain. I know that some of it is just sheer boredom and a desire for escape of one sort or another. I've also been drinking more than usual, just to relieve the tedium of the long evenings.  (I know I need to be careful with that, and I am). Have you been turning to drink, or food, or anything else, during these strange times?

As for food, I'm lucky that I haven't been overeating all these months. I've been doing a LOT of cooking and even baking, but I find that the more work I do in the kitchen, the more easily satisfied I am with small portions and just having a "taste" here and there. And the fresh produce from the farmer's market has been a daily part of every meal I make.

This was my dinner the other night. Fried yellow squash along with fresh cucumber and tomato slices, sprinkled liberally with sea salt and, in the case of the cucumbers, apple cider vinegar. Not the healthiest way to eat the squash, but absolutely delicious.

And here was dessert: cherry cobbler.

This was taken when it was still bubbling hot, straight from the oven. It was so rich, I only had a small portion.

So that's been my week, friends. Cooking, sitting around, a lot of reading (maybe I should do some book reviews here) and a lot of waiting to see what's going to happen in this state with the virus situation. This is not the summer I was hoping to have! Tell me how things are going with you.

No good deed goes unpunished

Yesterday was as nice an anniversary as we've had yet, even though we just stayed at home. The weather was good (a cool breeze was blowing, a rarity in June) and we sat on the back porch in the afternoon reminiscing about our wedding day and honeymoon. We saw the pair of Painted Buntings at the feeder, too, after several days of not seeing them at all. I had begun to suspect that they had moved on, but nope, there they were! That was like a gift!

Our dinner was nice. The Buttermilk Lemon Pound Cake turned out great! I was a little sad that the glaze/icing on top didn't look as pretty as the picture on the recipe, but I'll correct that the next time I make one of these cakes. And I will make it again--it really is delicious.

The icing was too thin but it still tasted good!

Here's a link to the recipe if you're interested: https://www.onceuponachef.com/recipes/lemon-buttermilk-pound-cake.html

For our main meal I made Chicken Fettucine Alfredo and bruschetta with heirloom tomato topping. It was also delicious! This was my first time making real alfredo sauce with heavy cream, and it was so much more flavorful than stuff bought in a jar! Easier than I expected, too. I'll definitely be making this again.

After dinner and dessert, I had champagne. I talked to a guy at the liquor store and asked him for a recommendation for the best bottle in my price range (in fairness, pretty low). He suggested this, which I was kind of disappointed in...oh well.

After the first glass or two it went down just fine! :)

After dinner, sitting on the porch again watching the sun go down. 

*Side note: you know you're in the firm grip of middle age when simply removing the stubborn cork on a champagne bottle makes you pull a muscle in your side! I had to laugh at myself over that one!

In other news, I had a frantic voicemail this afternoon from my 81 year old next door neighbor, Miss Luella. She said "Call me back right away, please!" What the what?!?     It scared me, so of course I called her back as soon as I got the message.

She's tested positive for Covid-19. The reason for her calling me was that I knocked on her door two days ago and gave her half a watermelon. Gregg won't eat them, and I can't finish a whole one, so I often will give half to friendly neighbors like her. Since I didn't go in her house (just knocked on the door and handed her the melon) and we talked for less than a minute (with me standing outside) she said she didn't give my name to DHEC for contact tracing since it didn't meet their criteria for it. She says she's run a low grade fever twice but now she feels fine except for a slight cough. She said she was shocked that she tested positive because she's "been so careful!" and despite saying over and over again that she didn't know how she caught it, she finally admitted that one of her grandsons and his wife and kids tested positive, too. They had a cookout for her oldest son's birthday at her house last week. WHAT THE HELL! When will people understand that gatherings of family that you don't live with are dangerous right now?! Covid-19 cases in South Carolina are skyrocketing. We're having 25% increases in the positive cases every single day for two weeks now. My husband's return to work is going to be short lived, I'm afraid.

I'm sure we're not in any danger from my neighbor given how limited our contact was, but it still serves a warning that now's not the time to get complacent. Next time, I'll just keep the whole damn watermelon and throw away what I don't eat! (Or else avoid buying them altogether this summer). And I was just trying to be a good neighbor! Just my luck.

Second week of June

The full "Strawberry Moon" rising over my neighborhood Wednesday night.

Another weekend is almost at an end. Sundays have lost some of their depressing feel now that we've been at home for so many weeks. The days all just seem to run together lately.

My husband is going back to work full time this coming week. I'm really uneasy about it. Positive Covid-19 cases are rising at a higher rate than ever in this state, but at some point I guess we have to try to resume a more normal life (with new precautions). After all, the virus isn't going anywhere anytime soon. I'm just going to have to deal with my anxiety about it all and hope for the best. Gregg promised me he'll be careful--standing several feet away from others, trying to avoid touching his face, frequent handwashing. Aside from his one risk factor, he's in good health, and if he should get sick he is assured of getting the very best care possible. The friend that undoubtedly saved his life when he had cancer is the very best pulmonologist in this area, and I know that he would do everything in his power to help if we needed him. So that's some comfort, too.

Our 14th wedding anniversary is coming up next week, on Friday. Since Fridays are one of Gregg's normal days off, we'll be able to spend it together, at least. Obviously with the virus out there we won't be going anywhere to celebrate. I'm hoping that next year we can rent a cottage somewhere on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. We haven't been up there in years and years, since before we were married. It's beautiful and we've been wanting to go back and have a vacation there again. Maybe next year we can manage it.

The weather here continues to be nice. It's been humid and we've had lots of rain, but the pounding heat we usually have by now hasn't really shown up. The highs this coming week don't even hit 90F. Gardenias and magnolia flowers are blooming all around the neighborhood. Our Crepe Myrtle trees are just beginning to flower, too. It's a nice time of year (when it isn't too hot).

What's this time of year like where you live? Are you getting back to "normal" yet or are you still staying at home and trying to avoid Coronavirus? How is your summer going so far?

Week 10...just catching up

As hard as it is to believe, yet another week of staying at home has flown past. Some cautious forays out into the world have been necessary, though.

I worked on Monday. It was an easy day, answering phones (that barely rang) for four hours. There was almost no one else around. It's been a silent building for months now, which is kind of sad. It was never meant to be so quiet for so long!

On Tuesday morning I went to a long-delayed dental appointment to have a permanent crown put on. I'd been living with a temporary since early March. For the first week or two after the permanent one came back I was afraid to go out in public, then the office closed for a month due to Covid-19, then when they reopened I was too afraid to make an appointment right away. The temporary was holding up fine, so I kept waiting. Finally the office called and explained to me all the steps they're taking to protect patients and staff from the virus, so I decided it was time. What a relief to have that done!  I've had so much bad/painful dental work done over the last couple of years that going to the dentist has become somewhat torturous to me, no matter how minor the procedure. The temporary crown did not want to come off, and the scraping, pulling, and loosening that was necessary to make that happen had me so rigid with stress that tears started rolling from my eyes. (I wasn't in any actual pain. I think it was just adrenaline and fear). I was so embarrassed, but my new dentist, Dr. Abbas, was very kind and patient. I like him a lot, and I'm beginning to trust him. He finally got that stubborn temporary off, and the new permanent crown in place, and I'm still relieved a week later. 

Then I had a doctor's appointment with my regular GP on Thursday. I wasn't thrilled about going to her office, but I had to because I needed refills on a script that she didn't originally write for me. I wore a mask and hoped for the best--the office was taking every possible precaution, like calling ahead to check for flu-like symptoms, checking temperatures at the reception desk, spacing out chairs in the waiting area, etc. So that was okay. One funny thing: two days prior, they took my blood pressure at the dentist's office, and it was on the high side. Not crazy high, but elevated enough to alarm me a little bit, you know? But then on Thursday at my regular doctor's, my blood pressure was perfect again, just as usual. That will tell you something about my fear of the dentist!!  :)

On Friday morning I met up with two of my book club friends for our weekly date: doughnuts and coffee bought at a drive through and eaten in our parked cars while we talk. Our book club is talking about resuming meeting next month and how we can do it safely. I think our June meeting will be held on a back patio with plenty of room to space out chairs. I sure hope we can do it; I've missed that group of women and our book club nights so much! Fingers crossed.

Friday was also a special day: my little heart-niece, Carsen, turned two years old! It's hard to believe that she's already a toddler.

For everyone's safety, her creative mom and dad gave her a Zoom birthday party! They did a good job of making sure everyone knew how to access it, including Marla's parents and 90 year old grandmother. Everyone got to sing "Happy Birthday" and watch the birthday girl blow out her candles. She was sitting at a table with a huge arch of colorful balloons above her that her daddy had assembled. It was the most unusual birthday party I've ever "attended"!

After such a busy (well, busy by 2020 standards) week it almost feels like life is getting back to some sort of normal.....except not. Things seem more weird now than ever. I work for 4 hours this coming Tuesday and then I think I'm done for the summer. Who knows what school starting up in August is going to look like? I just hope we can start. It's so strange to still have weeks of staying at home in front of me after being here for 10 weeks already.

Gregg is thinking about returning to his pet store job next week--the beginning of June--barring any sudden large leaps in our local numbers over the next 7 days. He's planning to try to limit the number of people allowed to browse the aquarium aisle at any one time, asking them to observe 6 feet of distance. If the store gets too crowded for that, he'll either retreat to the back office for a while, or else come home altogether. He'll wash his hands often and avoid touching his face. Will that be enough? I sure hope so. We're both pretty nervous about it. Good information about the risk is just impossible to discern in our current political climate. It's scary and frustrating. We're all just doing the best we can, I suppose.

To end on a happier note, here is another (bad focus, but good color) photo of our male Painted Bunting. I say "our" because this beautiful bird, and a female, have been eating at our feeder for several weeks now! I'm the envy of the people at the Wild Birds Unlimited store where I buy my seed. Painted Buntings are almost never seen in this area.

The female is gorgeous golden-green color. Much more subtle than the male, of course, but very beautiful. I have yet to get a photo of her. They're shy birds that visit the most early, early in the morning and then again right before sunset. We've also had another new-to-us species visiting the feeder these days: a pair of Blue Grosbeaks. They're the most gorgeous shade of blue you ever saw, and it's been impossible to capture it on my cell phone camera. Here's a picture I lifted from the webs to show you:

All the while, we've still been seeing tons of Cardinals, House Finches, Titmice, Carolina Wrens, a pair of Red Bellied Woodpeckers, and a few pesky Cowbirds and a small flock of Grackles with fledglings in tow. The squirrels are also beyond bold at this point, which is going to end badly one of these days when Ginger or George takes them by surprise. We saw a deer the other night when we were out walking the dogs (it ran past under a streetlight) and we've seen a couple of rabbits lately, too. We're going to miss all this time at home to watch the animals and birds and the seasons change when we're finally able to fully return to normal work schedules. It's been a memorable three months, that's for sure!

Like a shot in the arm

It's Thursday morning and already I can say that it's been a better week. I feel better and much more cheerful.

On Monday I was scheduled to go in to work and answer phones for a few hours. The administrators were there working hard to put together a virtual awards ceremony video. Due to a change in how registration was done last summer, over half of our students didn't have "media release" forms on file letting us know if we had their parents' permission to use their photos and names in something that would be shared on social media. Between honor roll, various school awards, and a photo montage of all of our 8th graders (in lieu of a middle school graduation) we had over 300 students whose parents and guardians needed to be contacted! I offered to come back the next day to help and the principal immediately took me up on it. So I went back Tuesday and worked a full day alongside him, his three assistant principals, and two other staff members they managed to find. I personally called and spoke to almost 60 parents and left messages for about two dozen more. By 4:30 I was beginning to stumble over my words a bit and my voice was started to go hoarse so I knew it was time to quit for the day. I haven't talked to so many people in months! Yesterday I went back and finished, I still had about a dozen parents to contact left on the my list. In between all these lengthy phone calls explaining who I was, what we needed and why, and how to access the video, I was also taking pictures of our Teacher of the Year and Support Staff of the Year and doing write ups on them and posting them to our school's social media. 

So yeah, I was busy. And I loved it! It felt so good to be contributing to the school again! It was even nice to talk on the phone to so many parents that I know--some of whom were desperate to talk after weeks of lockdown which I totally get. It was a treat to sit and have lunch with a few of my coworkers, too. The principal bought us all lunch and we gathered in a conference room, spread apart some, to eat it and there was much laughing and talking. Going to work for three days has made all the difference in how I feel.

Another great thing happened on Monday afternoon. When I got home from work Gregg and I went outside and trimmed some bushes in front of the house. While we were working on that, I got a text from Marla saying she wanted to drop something off at my house for us. I told her to come on by, that we were outside. A few minutes later her, her husband, and the baby pulled up. Marla got out of the car and stood several feet away and we got to talk face to face for the first time in months! She had brought two cupcakes for us to try. The baby's birthday is later this month and she's planning to make strawberry cupcakes for the party. And get this---it's going to be a Zoom birthday party! No one will actually be at their house except the three of them.

Luscious

I was so happy to see them. The baby was in a carseat in the back, and I said to her, "Carsen! I'm so happy to see you!" and she responded in her tiny little voice, "See you....."

I've missed that little girl so much.

I got a little teary when they left. I swear, I'm turning into a weepy, emotional mess in my old age.

So that's been my week so far. I'm feeling much, much better. Thank you all for the nice comments and support on my last post.

How are you doing this week?

Angsty Sunday

Happy Mother's Day to my readers here in the US who celebrate it! I hope you do something nice for yourselves today.

I sent my mom an inexpensive flower arrangement to mark the occasion, since I won't be seeing her. I probably wouldn't have seen her anyway, even without Covid-19, to be honest. I have a much older cousin whose children and (now) grandchildren my mom has gotten increasingly close to over the last several years. My cousin's daughter has three little children ranging in age from 5 years to 5 months old, and my parents have decided to consider them their grandchildren rather than great nieces and nephews. (I'm an only child who didn't give them actual grandchildren, much to their disappointment). Because of this, they usually spend Mother's Day and major holidays with these cousins and their families. A middle aged daughter and son-in-law aren't nearly as much fun as little kids they can play with and spoil! I understand that.

I go to work for 4 hours tomorrow, to answer phones. I hate only working a small token amount each week. I realized the other day that part of my low mood is coming from feeling mostly useless these days. Earned time off in a regular year, even when it's the whole summer, doesn't trigger any guilt in me, but I don't feel right about having this much. I haven't really worked since March, and I won't again until at least the end of July. (I say "at least" because I realized the other day that I haven't actually signed my work contract for next year yet. What I signed was a "letter of intent" back in January that just states I plan to come back the following year if my work agreement is renewed. The actual work agreements don't come through until May 18th, and as I stated in my last post, I have this nagging worry that the pandemic might end up making my job go away. So there's something else to keep me up at night). I'm beginning to understand why retired people feel a loss of a sense of purpose when they no longer go to work. I feel like I'm not contributing anything to the world right now. And I haven't used this time off to better myself in any way, either. I haven't started exercising more or working on my Spanish or picking up my long neglected knitting projects. Despite a few  household projects that I've helped Gregg get done, and some yard work, I've mostly been.....sitting around. On my bad days I tell myself that it's sheer laziness and I feel bad about myself. If I could somehow reclaim some sense of purpose it would help, I think, but it's hard to find ways to do that when we're still stuck in lockdown mode.

How do you retain a sense of purpose these days? Are you making good use of this time, or, like me....not so much?

Stormy weather

A big storm front rolled through the area late last night. I woke up to the sound of thunder, wind, and heavy rain an hour or two before sunrise. Try as I might, I never really went back to sleep after that. I finally gave up trying, got up, and put on a pot of coffee. The weather matched the mood for the first two hours of the day.

Gregg went to the pet store at 7am (it opens at 10am) to work on the aquariums for a few hours. As long as he doesn't have to have contact with the public, he's glad to get in a few hours' work. I imagine he's also happy to get out of the house for a little while, too, although he's much better at this stay-at-home and play hermit thing than I am. My husband is a true introvert. I'm much closer to the middle of the scale as far as that goes.

I did get to go to the school yesterday for a little while. I was scheduled for a 4 hour shift answering the office phone. It's a comfort to me to go to work right now, no matter that it's only about once a week for a half day. I have a secret gnawing fear that we're not going to be able to open schools back up in August, and at what point does the school receptionist become redundant in a situation like that? At the beginning of the year I signed my work agreement for the next school year, and as a state employee I probably have some protection against losing my job due to the pandemic. Still, I can't help but feel uneasy.

The worst part of this pandemic (to me) has been how uncertain the immediate future has become. Every day I'm dogged with this vague uneasiness and sense of dread that I just can't completely shake. I push it down and try not to think about it too much, but it's there, all the time. I'm still having weird stress dreams, not just at night but during the day when I take naps! That's a first for me. And for the past two days I've been feeling this weight of unexplained sadness. There's no rational reason for me to feel sad, I just do. I woke up that way again this morning.

Earth Day ramblings

In the midst of all the bad news right now, I find comfort in the fact that all over the Earth, air pollution and carbon emissions are the lowest they've been in decades. To see stunning side by side photographs of the skyline of major cities around the world pre- and during the Covid 19 pandemic check out this link. If only people could learn from this and modify their behavior upon the return to "normal" life! I don't have much faith in that, though. People never do seem to learn, do they?

Our state Governor McMaster announced today that schools will be closed for the remainder of the school year. I'm not surprised, and it's the right decision to make. I expected to feel sad about it, but I've already felt that way in the last few weeks and have mostly gotten over it. Hopefully things will be safer in late July when teachers and staff are set to go back and begin a new school year. If someone had told me at the beginning of the year that I wouldn't work for over 4 months, I wouldn't have been able to imagine why (short of getting fired or something). I'm thankful to still have my regular salary coming to me. I'm also thrilled to say that our Superintendent pushed a vote through the school board to give every single employee in our district a $1000 bonus at the end of this month! That was a nice surprise and will certainly come in handy! Gregg isn't working much at all and we're still waiting on our $2400 stimulus payment to come through.

A few more odds and ends to finish off this post.

I went to the grocery store last night on one of my infrequent trips, and since I've started wearing a mask, I thought I ought to take a selfie of it for the archives:

While shopping a few minutes later, I saw toilet paper for the first time in 6 weeks!!! Score!

The only reason I found toilet paper was I hit the timing perfectly: a truck had just arrived and it was getting put out when I walked past the aisle. I'm sure the small shipment of it that they got was sold out within 20 minutes!

The week after Easter, I had a leftover ham bone with a lot of meat left on it. I decided to make ham and vegetable soup in the crock pot for freezing in meal sized portions.

I felt like I deserved a damn Housewife of the Year award when the last of that deliciousness was sealed away in Tupperware and frozen. My husband was thrilled with me for being so frugal--not only did I use the leftover hambone, but I had a half a bag of frozen mixed vegetables taking up space in the freezer and several cans of plum tomatoes sitting in the back of the pantry, too, so no additional money had to be spent. Now we have three nice suppers in the freezer made entirely of leftovers! I've been doing so much cooking from scratch lately that all the quick, convenience, and junk food on offer at the grocery store yesterday didn't look appealing at all. Homemade is so much better, and cheaper, and in a lot of cases it's probably healthier too (although granted I've gone through quite a bit of real butter lately).

We're hoping to learn to live with less waste than we have in the past after the danger from this virus is over, more frugally, and with less excess. I truly want to make this time mean something in my life going forward and I'd like to do better in a lot of ways. More about this later.

And one last thing that I should mention, as it's Earth Day plus all over the world the skies are clearer than usual: tonight the Lyrid meteor shower peaks! The best viewing is always predawn, but even if you don't get up early, all night long you're real likely to see shooting stars if you'll only look. Think of all the wishes you can make!

Have a good night, my friends.

Entitled

South Carolina is one of a handful of states that is still without a "stay at home" order. Although all non essential businesses have been ordered to close, there are still plenty of stores open that, to my mind, really push the boundaries of "essential". Our beaches and state parks were finally closed last week, and about time, too. Far too many people are still (still!) not taking social distancing seriously enough.

There's a reporter/photographer for our local newspaper who used to be a parent volunteer at the school where I work. Her oldest child is a senior in high school this year. On Friday, the first day of our district's spring break, she published a series of photos in the paper of her son and his baseball teammates cavorting around a swimming pool at one of the boy's homes. She made a throwaway comment at the end about the boys celebrating "while being mindful of social distancing guidelines". I call bullshit. Look at these photos. Do these young men look like they're being mindful of being 6 feet apart at all times to you?





She went on to lament the fact that the boys had planned to spend spring break at the beach, but now they can't because of the Covid-19 restrictions. Some of her fellow parents of seniors (mostly all upper middle class white women) have been on social media whining about their poor little babies who are going to miss prom and graduation this year.

THIS IS WHILE PEOPLE ARE GETTING SICK AND DYING! THIS IS WHILE OUR MEDICAL WORKERS AND GROCERY/DRUG STORE CLERKS ARE RISKING THEIR LIVES TO PROVIDE FOR OUR NEEDS DURING THIS CRISIS!

I can't stand the entitlement. It just burns me up. Look, I get it. I know that high school seniors are disappointed to miss out on major milestones, and I would have been disappointed at that age, too. But what about civic responsibility? What about self sacrifice for a greater good? These young people (especially ones like the boys in these photos) have never wanted for a single thing in their whole lives. The mother of one of them actually complained to me last month about how their "last family vacation (to Rome) before her son leaves for college" had been ruined. These kids are steeped in privilege. Their grandfathers and great grandfathers were called to war; these boys are being called to the sofa, and they act as if that's a hardship.

I know I'm not a parent, but if I was, I would try my hardest to impress on my kids that sometimes we must sacrifice our selfish wants for a higher purpose. Life isn't fair, and if the most they're ever called upon to do is miss out on some parties and celebrations, then they will have been among the most blessed people on the face of this earth. That they have a responsibility to their fellow humans, especially those who have less than them. And that it's unseemly in the extreme for newly grown up men and women to whine and complain while some essential workers in their community are risking their lives to mitigate this crisis.

Thoughts?