Saturday, December 15, 2018

Welcome to the neighborhood (not!)

One afternoon a few weeks ago, before we started moving our stuff over,  I was at the new house cleaning, and I met the first of our new neighbors. It was a guy named Joe, and he seems really nice. He owns the house next door, which he inherited from his aunt who passed away a little while back. I said hello while he was out sweeping the porch (he's been trying to sell the house) and we struck up a conversation and immediately hit it off. I was disappointed when I found out he doesn't live there, because that would be at least one good neighbor!

Then on the day the movers were bringing our furniture in, I heard a cheery female voice call out "Yoo Hoo!" from the foyer. It was the lady who lives on the other side of us, come to introduce herself. She's a pleasant widow who's lived in her house decades now. She said we were going to love the neighborhood, that it's quiet and safe. Her (many) children grew up in her house and all of them live locally and visit regularly, and so do her grown up grandchildren. A thoroughly pleasant and decent lady--by this time I was thinking that we had hit the jackpot on good new neighbors.

I was wrong.

There's a creepy old man that lives behind us (our backyards are separated by a fence) who has come to our door three times in three weeks to complain about our dogs barking and disturbing him and his wife....during their 1pm to 3pm afternoon naps. He keeps insisting that we need to put the dogs inside for those two hours every day and refuses to hear us when we try to tell him that we work doing the day and can't be at home to accommodate him. It's really weird.

The first time he showed up at our door was two days after we'd moved in. I was in the shower mid afternoon and someone started ringing the doorbell, over and over. Of course I wasn't in a position to answer it at the time and by the time I got out he was gone. About 15 minutes later the doorbell rang again, and when I finally made it to the door I found a small old man with a big bouffant of white hair taping a letter to the front door. It said (and he said, too) "We've lived here 50 years. Your dogs' barking disturb my wife's naps, and she's been ill. We nap between 1 and 3 in the afternoon and we'd appreciate you putting your dogs inside. We're Christian people." Of course I was horrified that my dogs were disturbing a sick old woman, and I told the guy I'd be happy to do whatever I could to accommodate him on the weekends, but we work during the week and our dogs don't stay inside when we're not here. They have the porch and backyard during the day, and then they spend every night in the house, so I know they're not disturbing anyone at night. What they do during the day is something we have limited control of.

Well, it was like talking to a brick wall. He kept repeating that he wanted us to put the dogs inside and that they'd lived here "for over 50 years" and "we're good Christian people".  It was strange. Gregg and I talked about it, and I even considered baking the guy and his wife a plate of cookies and including an apology note....because, again, as weird as he acted (only two days after we moved in, remember) the last thing I want to do is disturb our neighbors. We want to fit in to the new neighborhood and be on friendly terms with everyone. We were really bothered by the whole thing.

Then two days ago the man showed up at our door again. This time it was Gregg who was home alone. The guy got really weird this time, repeating over and over a demand for us to put the dogs inside from 1pm 3pm every afternoon. He wouldn't acknowledge anything Gregg tried to say in response, and even got vaguely threatening..."I don't like to cause trouble for people" "I'm a Christian man and I hate to start trouble, but....." and similar things repeated multiple times. He also asked where we had lived before, and when he got a vague answer, he actually had the nerve to ask
where exactly we had lived! I'm proud of Gregg for holding his temper and his tongue. He was furious by this time and had to struggle not to go off in a way that old man wouldn't have soon forgotten. He says he doesn't know if the guy is suffering from mild dementia, or is just a nasty old crank, but he's got one more time to show up on our door and we'll be putting a stop to his harassment.

I talked to the sheriff's deputy assigned to the school were I work and asked for advice. I'm slightly scared of the crazy old man--not that I think he'll do anything to us, but what if he's nuts enough to do something to our dogs? The deputy told me that 1. Our dogs are perfectly free to bark nonstop during the day. If it were happening all night, every night, then that could be a noise complaint, but they're not even outside at night. 2. The next time Mr. Crazy shows up at our door, tell him "We're not going to resolve this. You're going to have to accept that. Now get off our property, and don't come back. You are not welcome here." and shut the door in his face. If he comes back after that we can file a report on him for trespassing, and he'll get a friendly little visit from local law enforcement. 3. If something happens to our dogs, the legal consequences will be severe. I have a copy of a letter the guy wrote us (dated) and I have the deputy's word that he advised me about this situation on x date.

I'm sure it's not going to come to all that, but this whole episode has been terribly unpleasant. Our poor dogs have had a hard enough time adjusting to a new house and yard and neighborhood, and now the neighbor behind us is a loony old geezer who hates them.

I'll keep you guys posted on the progress of our new neighborhood feud. Sigh.

Oh, and there won't be any Christmas cookies or cards going to that house!

28 comments:

  1. Sounds to me like the old guy may be suffering from some sort of dementia. Either that or else he's really just a stubborn old cuss who refuses to actually discuss the issue.
    I'm sorry. I know this is stressful.
    I wonder why he thinks that being a Christian has anything to do with the situation?

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    1. Gregg thinks he's just trying to be a bully, and also that at his age (he must be in his 80s) he has too much time on his hands to sit around and stew on his grievances. The dogs don't even bark THAT much to begin with! I have a hard time believing that across two small backyards (and a tree/bush barrier by the fence) that he's even hearing it that much INSIDE HIS HOUSE.

      Most people that I've met who loudly proclaim that they're a Chrisian at every opportunity are anything but Christ-like.

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  2. Oh My Goodness.
    I had a problem like this and was afraid for my dogs. I had gone through a divorce, and had to move from California to Tucson and leave my home and friends. It resolved when the crazies moved. Found out later they were not like by any of the neighbors.
    Keep good records of what happens and keep checking the yard and be sure to lock the gates for now.
    It will get better.

    cheers, parsnip and badger.

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    1. Thanks, Gayle!

      George wants to be inside every minute when we're here, anyway. Ginger doesn't like coming inside at all for some reason and prefers to be on the porch. We put dog beds on it for them. We make her come in at night when the temperature drops, though.

      The police officer I spoke to thinks it's highly unlikely that the guy will do anything. He said cranky old asses like him are a dime a dozen, and that if he tries to call the police to complain about dogs barking in the daytime they'll laugh at him.

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  3. I'm on the side of Ms.Moon.
    He sounds like he has his own issues with health, mental or otherwise.
    Is there a garage the dogs can go into? I know it's a ridiculous thought, because when they need to 'go' being in a garage isn't the right spot, but I worry that this old man might do something to them.
    Hopefully, he'll simmer down ....

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    1. You live in SC, Bob. You know the type. Old white guy that probably watches Fox News all day and looks for people to hate. Just the fact that he rubs his religion in everyone's face is a pretty good indicator.

      We have a detached garage, but the dogs have to have access to the fenced back yard to do their business (and to get fresh air). I'm sure it's going to be okay.

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    2. I think he was a bit like a dog, trying to mark his terrotory. But he'll just have to get used to things.

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  4. Wow, that's a bummer. I hope y'all get it resolved somehow. I've been on both sides of that issue when my younger daughter was a baby, so I can relate to both sides. We had new neighbors move in about 5 years ago & every black cat in the neighborhood disappeared, including my 9 year old black kitty. The new neighbors trapped the cats, called the dog pound and by the time we found out, our precious cat was dead. It was over a month later that we found out from the dog pound what happened.

    There is no love lost there. The woman stands in her yard photographing us when we mow or are in the yard. Really weird, and sadly, perfectly legal!!!!!

    I have an idea for a new job: real estate detective! I would go to the buyer's prospective neighborhood & run background checks, knock on doors with my dog in tow to see what they think of pets, etc. I think I could make a ton of money. It's a much-needed profession. xo

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    1. Oh my gosh! That is terrible, and I'm sorry it happened to you.


      I would be horrified if my dogs were really doing something wrong, and we're careful to respect leash laws and quiet hours (after dark). We're responsible pet owners and it makes me feel bad to get treated like we're some kind of trash upsetting the neighborhood. :(

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  5. Oh crap! And why do you suppose being Christians has anything to do with it?

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    1. And to top it all off, the old man is named...wait for it...GEORGE! He failed to see the charm of sharing a name with one of our dogs. Haha.

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  6. You have found the house that is just right for you, a beautiful home. You and your husband love each other and are best friends. You have great pets and a job you really like. Now comes this unfriendly and crazy neighbour trying to spoil it all for you. Don't let him. You did right in speaking to the officer and keeping a record of the man's visits and messages.

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    1. Gregg says pretty much the same thing as you, Meike. We're hoping that we've heard from him for the last time.

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  7. I have some earplugs that really work. I think they're in my suitcase, from which they have taken on jake brakes, barking dogs, highway traffic, snoring, and the like for thirty years. Say the word and you may put them in his Christian cookies.

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    1. Maybe I should leave a pair of earplugs in his mailbox tied up with a Christmas bow! :D

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  8. Aack, that guy sounds awful. I'm sorry you have to be subjected to this when you are new to the neighborhood. Good for you for running this by the deputy and finding out the legalities. People can be so strange.

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  9. Like others have said, your neighbor might be suffering from dementia. I am glad that you have spoken to the sheriff’s deputy and know your rights.

    . Every neighborhood has their kooks.

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  10. get everything in writing. and people that say they are "christian" are anything but in real life!

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  11. I'd be discreetly sounding out the widow next door. If she's lived in the neighbourhood for years she might have some background on this neighbour which might throw a light on his behaviour. It may not solve the problem but it's another point of view. Of course if she's a hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil person, that idea's dead before you get started.
    And she might know just how sick the neighbour's wife is/isn't and is the pleasant widow bothered by your dogs barking?
    Walk softly Jennifer and carry a big stick :)
    Alpbie

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  12. my goodness, Jennifer, the guy is looney tunes and probably scared witless.

    just remember, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar

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  13. Make sure you FILM him; he might be a bit more courteous. I wonder why the dogs are barking; could it be because of him doing something to make them bark?

    What a terrible shame that your first days in a new home should be tainted by some bloody Christian, with very un-Christian views.

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  15. Oh dear. If that is what "Christian people" are like then I am glad that I am a pagan.

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  16. What a horrible way to begin your life in your new house and neighborhood. When anyone says that they are a Christian, it usually means the exact opposite. I find those people to be the most pious hypocrites around. I hope this gets resolved for you!

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  17. Jennifer, I know you're a considerate thoughtful person and you live in the South and I know it's different down there, but .. . just to give you some perspective, dogs left alone and barking during the day is not tolerated in my rural community, it's considered neglectful and animal control definitely would be acting on such a complaint here - it would be taken seriously by the police, not brushed off. Not to say you'd be hauled off to jail or summonsed, they'd try to work with you and find a solution, both for your neighbors' sake and your dogs, as if your dogs are barking a lot during the day, it's a sign they're not happy. Even if you are taken aback by your new neighbor, maybe when you are old and sick you will need to sleep during the day between 1 and 3 and be easily disturbed. If the wife has dementia and is awake at night but takes a nap in the afternoon, that may be the only time your crazy old man is able to take his eyes off her and sleep. And I know when I had neighbors who kept me awake all night, I probably came off as a little crazed when I went over and knocked on their door. Is there some way you can just try to keep your dogs quiet during the day? Because, honestly, it would disturb me too if you moved in next to me, even if I wasn't trying to sleep. I don't wish to offend you, but it just strikes me, there may be different interpretations of the same reality. And perhaps, repeating that he's a Christian is his way of trying to tell you he's thinks of himself as a nice guy who is thoughtful of others and doesn't like to complain.

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    1. I just saw this comment. Several things:

      Our dogs don't constantly bark. Not at all. They bark occasionally like any other dogs, but that's natural.

      The man's behavior has been strange and mildly threatening. When my husband tried to apologize and discuss the issue with him in a kind and gentle way, the guy refused to let him finish a sentence, and would not engage in a discussion.

      There are dogs in several yards around here that DO bark a lot, enclosing the mixed breed right next door to the old man....is he harassing them? I wonder.

      The man continues to act creepy even though I've been off work for over a week and I KNOW my dogs aren't barking or disturbing anyone. Yesterday I caught him standing in the bushes by our back fence, staring into our yard. My dog Ginger was growling very low, something she only does when things are not right. She's a smart dog and very attuned to peoples' imtentions.

      I have nothing but sympathy for sick elderly people. Hell, my husband had stage 3 lung cancer when he wasn't even elderly and was home sick for 6 months during treatment. I would do anything possible to not disturb a sick neighbor if they had a legitimate complaint.

      Last of all, this is my family's home. That includes Ginger and George (and Marco the bird). We all deserve to be comfortable and happy here, and weird visits from a neighbor with unreasonable demand make me nervous. It's uncalled for, and I don't intend to continue to tolerate it.

      I appreciate the points you've raised, but in my particular situation they're not applicable.

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  18. I've come back to this post because I somehow missed the beginning of this story. Now I'm getting all the background on the crazy neighbor.

    It's interesting how he seems to feel his longevity in the neighborhood somehow entitles him to tell his neighbors what to do. Have you asked any of your other neighbors about him? I bet people have stories.

    Anyway, everyone's already offered their opinion and I don't have much to add, but I do think it's wise to keep an eye on the dogs. I doubt he would harm them, but you never know. I also keep thinking about that camera he set up (as revealed in a subsequent post) -- he's obviously collecting information on the dogs and their behavior. He probably intends to make some kind of official complaint, if he hasn't already by now. Sounds like the law is on your side, though.

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