Wednesday, February 3, 2021

Stinky

A few minutes after I got to work this morning I was nearly overcome with the nastiest, most nauseating smell you can imagine. It kept getting worse and worse, and when I went to the little kitchenette in the office area to put my lunch in the refrigerator, I nearly puked. There's a microwave in there and it was obvious that's where the smell was originating. It was so strong it permeated the hallway and the main office and the whole general area. Gag, gag, gag!!!

 "What is that awful smell?!?! I started asking everyone. It just seemed to get stronger and stronger! The bookkeeper finally got an answer. Prepare yourselves for the scenario I'm about to describe to you. And a warning: if you have a weak stomach, don't read any further!

One of our coworkers had stopped by a local deli that serves breakfast, and had picked up a "to go" box which she brought in and reheated in our common microwave. What could it possibly be, you might ask. What breakfast food could she possibly have heated up, the smell of which had several people gagging and nearly throwing up their breakfasts? Breakfast food is usually fairly benign! Friends, she had eaten.........

Salmon and grits.

You read that right. Salmon and grits! For the love of God, why..............just WHY..........would anyone eat that in the first place, let alone heat it up in a shared microwave at work?!?!?! And the woman who did it thought it was funny. She says she enjoyed every bite and loves eating fish with grits at breakfast.

I was so mad. The bookkeeper jokingly yelled, "Mrs. Barlow can't work under these conditions!" but the truth was I didn't think it was funny. Not at all. How inconsiderate can people be? I was so mad I texted Gregg about it and even said (and this was unkind of me) "no wonder her husband left her!" It turned my stomach to the point I wasn't even over it by lunchtime even though the smell had dissipated by then. I threw most of my lunch away. I still felt queasy and just couldn't eat. 

If I could think of some way to retaliate I'd totally go for it, but clearly anyone who can reheat fish in a microwave at 8:00 in the morning and eat it for breakfast has a cast-iron stomach that no smell could deter. Holy moly. What a way to start the day!

And it is pretty funny to me..........now. :)

41 comments:

  1. I am not a big seafood lover myself, and I hate hate hate that smell. Yuck. And I hate it when people heat it up in the microwave at work. It turns my stomach too.

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    1. It really did make me feel sick. I like seafood, but I don't like smelling it at 8am!

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  2. I like salmon and I like grits and I suppose salmon and grits might be a lot like lochs and bagels without the cream cheese. I usually don't take seafood to work since not everybody appreciates it.

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    1. I like salmon and I like grits, too. But canned salmon microwaved on top of grits? HELL NO!!

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  3. It never failed, everywhere I worked, someone would always Bring in fish and heat it. PUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SMELL!

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    1. What the hell is wrong with people like that? This particular woman whines about not "having a man" since her husband left her a few years back for another woman. But I mean, damn, who'd want to date someone who eats smelly shit like that?!

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  4. put a flaming bag of dog shit on her desk/in her car/in her coat pocket! CO-WORKER BITCH!

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    1. I can always count on you to have my back Anne Marie! Hahahahaha!

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  5. Oh dear. I have the same problem at home with Balder Half. He loves the stuff and I loathe it. He cooks it the night before and brings it to work for lunch. If he stinks up his office as much as he does our house, I'm surprised that no one has killed him yet. Maybe salmon lovers like the smell? Blurghhh!

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    1. Damn. That might be grounds for divorce in this house! (kidding)

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    2. I know! I just open the sliding door to the outside in my bedroom, and close the inner door. I can then sleep in a funk free environment. Febreze works, too. I like my grits with salt, pepper and butter mixed with bacon and scrambled eggs. Not a fish in sight. Nor sugar, for that matter.

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  6. I once had a Dungeons and Dragons character named "Stinky' due to his fondness for foods like this.

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    1. It's changed how I see this woman. Now I think of her as Ms. Stinky.

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  7. Well, she knows now and I doubt if she will do it again. I used to work with the nicest fella who enjoyed Chinese food. It is yummy in the tummy but last nights shrimp fried rice is nasty in the microwave the next day in a small office space. He agreed that he wouldn’t do that again and we all laughed.

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    1. Oh, she'll do it again if she gets a craving for it. She didn't care about my distress at all!

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  8. I eat a lot of strange things for breakfast, but not fish. Anyway, fish should be eaten FRESH; straight out of the sea. As this cannot have been the case, I'm not surprised it stank!

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    1. I'm certain it was canned salmon....blech! You're right, seafood is best straight from the sea and as fresh as possible. And for breakfast? No. I'm with you on that!

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  9. I love salmon and purchase a "salmon share" every year but don't think I could eat it in the morning or with grits.

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    1. I like salmon....a nice piece of salmon cooked on a hot grill with plenty of lemon. But I'm certain this was heated up canned salmon....not the same!

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  10. When you warned us to prepare for the scenario, I thought maybe some unfortunate mouse or rat or other small animal had somehow made its way into the breakfast box and met its death under the heat of the microwave. I don't like salmon (although I don't dislike fish as such), and I don't know what grits are, but it sounds nasty enough if it made you and so many of your colleagues almost throw up!
    Inconsiderate folks will always be that - inconsiderate. I wonder if that lady is also one that does not clean up after herself properly when she has used the toilet.

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    1. I think I was the most disgusted by the smell, for some reason. A few coworkers wrinkled their noses, but they have private offices they can go into and close the door. I don't have that luxury. I'm in the main office with lots of open air around me.

      I love grits, and I even love one of South Carolina's signature dishes, shrimp and grits. But I would never reheat it at work! Come and visit me one day, Meike, and I'll take you out for shrimp and grits. You'll love it!

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  11. At this moment i am eating smoked salmon. It does smell. It would be a mistake to bring it to work.
    They will not appreciate the flavors. They will say eew gross!
    I like eating smoked salmon! It tastes good and is healthy. When i eat this expensive food, i get to think about salmon fish. I remember the people who make this food. I thank the salmon fish! I thank the people!

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    1. You know, I actually like a good piece of grilled salmon. I don't eat it all that often, but at least once or twice a year I'll throw some on the grill. But twice re-heated CANNED salmon? No thanks! I'm sure that's what she had.

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  12. Have you ever smelt a dead rat that is teeming with maggots? Why not give one to your "co-worker" (English: colleague) when its her birthday. That will teach her!

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  13. Reminds me of a particularly bumpy flight I was once on where someone a few rows away stupidly opened a tuna sandwich. The reactions that ensued meant it was not the only unpleasant smell on that flight.

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  14. Just...no.
    SHRIMP and grits for breakfast, heated in a communal microwave would be bad enough but salmon?
    Ugh.

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    1. Agreed! I love shrimp and grits, but I would never reheat it in my microwave at home, much less at work! And that probably wouldn't smell half as bad.

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  15. Coincidentally, I'm eating grits this very moment. However, I'm pretending they're Cream of Wheat so I've put in raisins and brown sugar. (Bought the grits in a fit of nostalgia and discovered husband doesn't appreciate them, so gotta use them up somehow.)

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    1. I love grits, but I never have and never will eat them with raisins and sugar! Oatmeal--yes. Grits, no.

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  16. I was an administrative assistant for a group of college professors when I worked (now retired, alleluia!) - anyway I was the only one who would clean the communal microwave in the faculty lounge and it was so gross! Smelly leftovers exploded and left to dry! I had signs in big red letters stuck all over the microwave "COVER YOUR FOOD" but quite a few did not! Just because they had PhDs did not mean they were all smart! Bugged the shit out of me! I feel your pain!

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    1. Yes, I've discovered that formal education doesn't mean all that much in a lot of cases.

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    2. There is a reason a PhD is often referred to as 'Piled Higher and Deeper.' Sometimes more education results in less common sense.

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  17. What a yutz; I can't believe she didn't appreciate how inconsiderate that is. One place I worked finally put up a notice that the microwave could not be used for fish, among other things. You should pick up some cheap fish and toss it in the backseat of her car.

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    1. I swear to god, Mitch, she thought it was FUNNY. And later in the day told me all about how her mama served grits and canned salmon to her and her siblings all the time when she was growing up--like it made me feel better to know what great memories she has of eating that crap! -

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  18. Other people's eating habits in the workplace can be very contentious - not to mention nauseous, as with yourself. And yes, when you object, they can't see the problem and think you're just being over-sensitive. I hope you can find a way of changing her breakfast routine!

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    1. She's not the first person to heat up salmon in a shared microwave, but the last time was a teacher who was, at least, heating up a LUNCH that looked like it was probably good the first time she had it. It still smelled horrible, though.

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  19. Weirdly, salmon and grits doesn't sound terrible to me. I mean, shrimp and grits is pretty common, and that's not SO different. But I do think it was inconsiderate to heat it up in an office microwave with other people around, because salmon has a strong smell (as you know!) and not everyone is into it.

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