I've been trying to write a post about my frustrating experience with baking myself a birthday cake last week. When I told one of my friends about it, she laughed until tears ran down her face. Granted, we'd had a few drinks, but it really was funny as I told the story.
When I tried to write about it, though, I couldn't get it to work and convey the humor of the situation, so here's the short version: I got way overambitious and attempted to make a huge chocolate cake with homemade buttercream. I also wanted to decorate it, despite never having any practice at that. I ordered a cake decorating kit with lots of bags and tips, watched a few Youtube videos, and gave it my best shot. I baked the cake on Thursday evening and left it to cool overnight, and then on Friday I started making buttercream and attempting to pipe borders and simple flowers.
What a nightmare! Turns out buttercream is hard--not hard to make, but hard to get the consistency right. I did a thick layer of chocolate buttercream first, and it looked awful. Just awful. So then I made a huge batch of vanilla buttercream and made two more attempts to cover over my bad work...and it kept getting worse! Finally after three or four hours, and a trashed kitchen, I gave up for the day. I was disgusted with the whole thing and ready to dump the mess in the trash!
The next morning, Saturday, I knew I had to do something. The party was that night, and the cake was a wreck. So in desperation I went to the grocery store and bought two cans of Betty Crocker chocolate icing which I slathered liberally all over the mess, smoothed it out, dumped a bunch of sprinkles all over the top, and called it a day. And then I said to myself, "What the hell was I thinking?" and also, "Never again."
Two days of stress and effort, in pictures (and layers of crappy buttercream):
Next: the first two big blobs of cheap canned frosting I slapped on top of the wreckage made me laugh hysterically, and I had to take a picture. This summed up all my planning and effort perfectly.
GEORGIE WUZ HERE!
Okay, but to be serious, the cake actually turned out to be...presentable. And tasty. You can't really tell from this picture, but it was huge and weighed a ton. Especially with two layers of homemade buttercream smothered in Betty Crocker Chocolate Fudge icing and Sprinkles.
It looks good, with the sprinkles ... I was expecting something entirely different, but I'd have a slice!
ReplyDeleteIt was RICH. Two 9×12 layers devil's food cake with chocolate buttercream in the middle and the outside coated with three separate layers of homemade and store-bought icing.
DeleteOMG that photo of the canned frosting blobs on the cake made me laugh SO HARD! You know what the Universe is telling you? As a birthday present to yourself, take a cake decorating course (you've got all the equipment now!) and make a few practice cakes, and then next year create the Fabulous Birthday Cake of Your Dreams!
ReplyDeleteIt's probably very good also rich, no matter the process. I'd like some.
ReplyDeleteBet it was mighty tasty.
ReplyDeleteNow that's an icing lovers cake! I'd love a piece! Happy Birthday Jennifer!
ReplyDeleteIt looks pretty good to me. But, it's the taste that counts!
ReplyDeleteThe first with the “piping” around the edges. The second, the “dirty” frosting. And then those wads of canned icing, the poo emoji cake! I would have been in tears (of laughter). But I’ll bet it was delicious.
ReplyDeleteBwoah!! I love rich desserts and cakes, but just possibly this would have been a bit too rich for me. But honestly - the first picture doesn't look THAT bad... and the two blobs really are hilarious :-D
ReplyDeleteI like Debra's idea!
What an ordeal! I think the end result looked pretty good. After the party, could you freeze/save the leftovers?
ReplyDeleteJennifer... I feel bad for chuckling at those earlier photos but I loved your honesty here! The important thing is you tried and you still presented something pretty tasty looking. I bet that cake was good! You seem like the type of person that doesn't give up easily, I hope you try this again in the future. :-)
ReplyDeleteChocolate cake is my favourite. I'm sure everyone enjoyed it, especially if you told them the effort you'd made.I admire you for not giving up. (I would have done)
ReplyDeleteHilarious. I probably would have just gone with the first one and told everyone it was my first attempt. I, too, struggle with getting buttercream to the right consistency. It is a mystery.
ReplyDeleteI would just order a decorated cake! Costco has a good price for a good sized cake. My SIL always gets those for special occasions.
ReplyDeleteI bet that was the best tasting cake on the planet. End of story.
ReplyDeleteThere's no such thing as too many layers of frosting on a cake.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday! I bet it was delicious. I've always wanted to decorate cakes and cookies and I'm a total klutz with that kind of stuff.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Oh dear, I'm sure it tasted wonderful, but I felt your pain, Baking with chocolate is messy I know I've been there, as a mother of four children I've cried tears over messy chocolate birthday cakes.. but guess what they were all guzzled down. ( The cakes not the children!)
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't have had to decorate your own birthday cake! Gregg should have been doing that with a little help from Marco who is of course a soft icing dispenser.
ReplyDeleteHa! That IS funny in retrospect but I'm sure it wasn't at the time. I actually think your first cake looks pretty good. I'd have been happy if I'd produced that, especially with no cake decorating experience! Throw some sprinkles on and call it a day!
ReplyDelete