July is winding down

I'll be so glad when this summer is over. It's been dreadfully hot, even by South Carolina standards. I seem to get less and less tolerant of the heat the older I get, and I just can't seem to enjoy anything this time of year. Even my friend's pool offers no relief; the water is as warm as a sauna. Forget doing much of anything outside, with heat values over 100 degrees day after day. I realized today that one of the reasons I don't mind working all summer is that I'd just be sitting inside my house hiding out in the a/c. I might as well be at work in the a/c earning money. I get paid for 30 more days of work each year than the teachers do, and I wouldn't be going on vacation during that time anyway. 

I've had a little bit of fun this summer, though. I've read two books recently: The Midnight Library by Matt Haig (for my book club) and then the new book by Daniel Mason, Country People. The Midnight Library was a quick read and mildly entertaining, although nothing really special. It did lead to some interesting conversation at book club, though. Country People is wonderful. Daniel Mason wrote one of my all-time favorite novels, North Woods, so I ordered a copy as soon as it was released. I really enjoyed it. Reading is great fun when you're stuck in the house!

Then Marla came over last Saturday afternoon and spent several hours with me. I made strawberry daiquiris from some of the fresh local strawberries I'd put in the freezer back in April, along with some snacks: a hot Rotel dip in the crockpot, cold sour cream/ranch dip, potato and tortilla chips for dipping, King's Hawaiian Ham and Swiss sliders, and caramel turtle brownies. I also made a pitcher of iced tea for when the daiquiris got cloying (which never happened, haha). 

The dogs were absolutely thrilled to see her, as usual. She was actually with me the day I first met George at the Darlington County Humane Society back in 2013. She loves both the dogs like she loves her own pets, and they know it. As soon as I saw her car pull into the driveway I announced, "MARLA IS HERE!" and Poppy and George nearly tripped over themselves running for the door to greet her. 

Speaking of the dogs, we used to sometimes call Ginger "Gingerbread". This afternoon, Marco called Poppy "Gingerbread" and when I said, "That's not Gingerbread, silly. That's Poppy." he sat there for a second and then called her "Baby Bread" instead! How stinkin' cute is that? It makes me so happy that he hasn't forgotten Ginger even though she's been gone almost 6 years now. We still miss her so much.

Today was the first day back at work for the teachers and most of the staff. It was so good to see everyone again and to meet the new teachers coming on board! We started the day with a catered breakfast and some time to catch up, which was nice. After that my office was a popular place, because as the bookkeeper I had the teachers' supply checks to give out! (Every teacher gets a $400 check at the beginning of the year to spend on whatever they want for their classrooms.) 

Tomorrow most of the staff will be at professional development, including me. I'll be up at one of the administrative buildings all day for the annual bookkeepers' meeting/training. It was great the first year or two when I was still a newbie, but these days it's just a lot of the same old, same old and boring PowerPoint presentations. It will be good to see the other district bookkeepers and the accountants, but other than that I wish I didn't have to go. Still, I marvel every day at how lucky I am to have a job I love. I got my updated salary letter the other day and this year I have an annual increase of 8%...a really solid, nice raise! So I won't complain about boring meetings and training sessions. 

The students will return next Wednesday, so summer break is winding down for them, too. 

Half century

I have a big birthday coming up on Sunday...one of those years that end in an "0". It seems too crazy to possibly be true, but I'll be 50 years old! 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset about it, I just can't seem to wrap my mind around it. I've barely adjusted to thinking of myself as a forty-something and all of a sudden, I'm about to leave my 40s behind. Crazy, crazy, crazy. I'm sure it's like this for everyone, but whew!

I'd originally thought I'd have a big get-together to celebrate such a milestone, but it hasn't worked out. When I talked to Gregg about it, he asked if I'd mind keeping the party small because he's not feeling up to having a lot of people over and having to help host. He's got an oncology appointment looming next Monday where he'll get the results of a CT scan he had last week. This will determine how successful the radiation has been and whether he'll need further treatment or not. With this hanging over his head, he doesn't feel like any major entertaining, and truthfully, I don't either. 

So instead, I'm having a small party on the back porch Saturday night with just two or three close friends. Marla and Martina, of course, and a new friend I've made at work, Meisha. Later in the evening I might text a couple of friendly neighbors and invite them to walk over and have a drink or a piece of cake. I plan to have some good food, good desserts, and a few different drink choices (alcoholic and non). I bought some pretty string lights for the porch, too. It should be fun, and not too stressful to pull off like a big party would be. 

 

I do feel kind of sad that Gregg is the only family I'll have celebrating my birthday with me. My dad died just over a year ago, and I haven't been in contact with my mom since last summer. * I don't have siblings, although I love Gregg's. In fact, I invited his sister to come down on Saturday to spend the night and attend the party. I would love to have her (so would Gregg), but she thanked me for asking and then changed the subject. It kind of hurt my feelings, to be honest. Not because she's not coming, but because she didn't even seem to really consider it. 

Of course, Marla and Martina are like sisters to me, and I have an abundance of friends. I have a really good marriage. I'm grateful for every bit of it, and I don't have any right to complain. I try not to. I don't always succeed.

These are just things I'm thinking about as I prepare to turn fifty.

* It's better that we're not in contact. It's been really hard coming to terms with that, but it's true. It's sad and hard and I wish things were different, but I've started to prioritize my own needs and my own well-being. It's past time that I did.

Friendship

This past Saturday Marla came over and spent the afternoon with me. I hadn't seen her since the week after my dad died back in early January. I've been really busy with all the changes happening around here, and then she got sick (pneumonia) and was out of commission for a couple of weeks. 

We spent hours talking, snacking, and drinking wine, and it was just exactly what I needed!

One of the snacks I served: a round of Brie topped with jalapeno jam, wrapped in puff pastry, and baked. Served with crackers and apple slices (and wine, of course). It was delicious!

Talking over all the stressful stuff that's been happening with a trusted friend made me feel so much lighter.  She's always so supportive and encouraging, plus we laugh a lot when we get together. I'm so grateful for her and her friendship! I hope I'm a good friend to her in return--I certainly try to be. 

Last Saturday

Last Saturday I met a friend early in the morning for a cup of coffee and a walk afterwards. There's a new(ish) coffee shop right around the corner from my house that has access to a hiking trail nearby. My friend and I settled down with our black coffees (we're both trying to cut down on sugar and lose some weight) in the bustling little cafe and had a chat before going on our walk.

Naturally, the subject of work came up. I confided that the day before I'd heard someone (who would know) mention that the school secretary makes $***** per year. This is the secretary whose job our new principal asked me if I was interested in, set up a time to meet with me and talk about it, and then hired the day before our interview. I'd gotten over not being given a chance at the job, but then when I found out what a huge increase in salary it would have been for me, I got mad all over again. It felt good to vent to a friend about it. 

But then, in the course of the conversation I mentioned how much of a difference making almost double my current salary would make in my life. My friend stared at me for a few seconds with something like astonishment (and horror) written all over her face and then exclaimed, "You mean you only make $***** a year?!"  Um....yes. 

She sat looking at me for a few more seconds, made a few halfhearted suggestions about asking for a raise, and then completely changed the subject. She spent the next 20 minutes or so talking about her upcoming trip to Mexico (her third international trip in less than two years). I finally interrupted to say we'd better start on our walk if we were going to get one that day. I didn't feel like listening to her talk anymore right then.

I'll be honest, the whole exchange stung a little bit. I know she didn't mean to hurt my feelings; she was just too surprised to be tactful. But here's the thing: wouldn't a real friend understand without being told that a school attendance clerk makes a whole lot less money than a university faculty member? And she's married to an engineer, to boot! It's hard to believe she's never noticed the difference in our lifestyles, but she does tend to be a bit self-absorbed. Well intentioned, but self-absorbed. 

I also know I'm a bit over sensitive where money is concerned. I grew up poor, and as a kid it embarrassed me. I guess that's what triggered the small wave of shame I felt when she acted so shocked that I don't make more money. I'm approaching 50 years old and I'm still dealing with emotional issues from my childhood, which seems ridiculous. Does it ever end?

Hatchday!

 Today, the one and only Marcoman is 15 years old! Happy Hatchday, Marco!

I decided to make today festive so I invited Marla and Martina over to help us celebrate. I sent Marla the following text last night, and her reply made me laugh.

We had a tiny little party on the porch this afternoon with lots of good treats and hard apple cider!

I even made Cajun spice boiled peanuts in the crockpot overnight. Marco loved those the most!

Many happy returns, buddy!

The ugly cry

 I'm sitting here sobbing like a baby. It's a real, true "ugly cry" and my face is a mess.

I went to the vet's office this afternoon to pick up Ginger's ashes. The local company that handled the cremation made everything so nice. The container that they put the ashes in was so pretty, and there was a sympathy card, and best of all they had made a little plaster cast of her pawprint. I sat in the car and sobbed.

Then when I got home I had a message from a friend that I used to work with at the bookstore telling me to go and look on my front porch. There was a gift bag with a beautiful hand crocheted shawl for me and another sympathy card, and the card said to consider the shawl a hug from her and Ginger. I really sobbed then. I can't believe the timing....that she left the gift on the same day I picked up the ashes. 

I'm so grateful for all the kindness I've been shown as I grieve for my girl. My heart is full to overflowing. My eyes, too.

November....meh.

Is it just me, or is the latest time change a real downer? I wish we'd just leave the time alone, one way or another, because I always have trouble adjusting when DST begins and ends. Monday I came home from work, decided to take a "quick nap" at about 6:45 (I was feeling wiped out from a stressful day and the early darkness) and ended up sleeping 11 hours! I didn't feel particularly well rested the next day, either. I'm not sure if it's the time change or the flu shot I got late last week, but I've been feeling really.....meh.....since the November began.

I've got to try to perk up before the weekend, though. Saturday is Gregg's birthday and I want things to be festive for him. I'm planning to take a piece of art that's dear to him to be matted and framed for his gift. It was painted by a sweet elderly lady he had a long friendship with before she passed away several years ago. Her name was Margaret and she gave him three or four of her paintings when he admired her work. We're slowly getting them all nicely framed and displayed in our home. It makes Gregg happy when he sees them, because they remind him of Margaret. She was a sweet, sweet lady.

This is one of her paintings hanging in our kitchen. I discovered that it's

 not possible to get a good snapshot of it thanks to the reflection of the lights. 

As per usual when Gregg's birthday rolls around, I'll cook a nice meal and special dessert, and we'll stay home. He's the kind of man who never, ever wants to go out. He's a true introvert, yet his job(s) require him to be out in the public and dealing with strangers and semi strangers every day. When he's off, he wants to be at home; and so of course on his birthday we do whatever he's happiest with.

Speaking of this weekend, it's supposed to be really cold--down to freezing--for the first time this year. I don't mind that part of winter. Maybe some of the huge flying "Palmetto Bugs" (aka, Monster Roaches) will go away. They're really bad out here because we're very close to a creek, and one of the first things we did when we bought this place was get a contract with a pest control service for quarterly preventative treatments. I can't stand a roach. Our guy keeps the fire ants at bay, too. (That's another evil that's best avoided altogether.)

How's the start of the month (and the time change) been for you? I'd love to hear about it, particularly if you're like me and the onset of winter makes you want to eat yourself into a semi-coma, eschew most humans contact, and hibernate in the house with Netflix and a warm, comfortable bed. And maybe a book, of course.

New friends

I've said it here before, I think, but it bears repeating: I'm rich in friendship. When I was in my 20's it seemed difficult to make new friends, but now in my 40s it seems to be a regular occurrence in my life.

This  morning I'm meeting a new friend for coffee, a woman named Norma. I met her at the school last week when she stopped in to pick up her son early for an appointment. She's from Mexico and her English is still rudimentary, so she brought her older son along to help translate. Since I'm trying to learn Spanish, I made an effort to speak it as much as I could, and she tried to hold up her end in English. (The older brother finally grinned and stepped aside and left us to it). Norma speaks English about as well I speak Spanish, which isn't saying a lot (ha!) but we had fun. Before she left she got my whole name, and when I left work that afternoon she had sent me a Facebook friend request. Which led to an hour of messaging back and forth and we've decided to get to know each other and help each other with our language lessons! How cool is that?

I have two Starbucks gift cards so I suggested meet up there this morning and get free drinks. (I don't care for Starbucks, but I appreciate the gift cards which were end-of-the-year presents from a couple of students and their families). Besides learning a new language, we discovered that we share a love of cooking, and last night Norma sent me a picture of the dinner she was making and this sentence, "You will learn to speak Spanish and you will learn to cook Mexican!" which made me laugh right out loud.

I'm looking forward to this new friend! Lucky me.

Friendship

It was so nice seeing my two friends last night. Not a single one of us had read the book, even though Martina and I both read other books last week, and Marla spent her free time bingewatching Stranger Things. We were all glad that we were slackers together! It didn't matter at all. We always have plenty to talk about and plenty of good food and drinks when we see each other. I took a quick snapshot of the table mid way through the evening to try to capture the feeling of comfortable friendship we had.

I served three kinds of cheese along with crackers and grapes, and a platter of raw vegetables with sour cream dip. Marla brought jalapeño poppers and chocolate chip pecan cookies, and Martina made a beautiful blackberry custard.

We had a selection of hard ciders to drink along with non alcoholic options, like ginger ale and diet Coke and tea. The ciders were really tasty, though. The amber apple draft is my favorite.

Besides eating and drinking, we talk, talk, talk. There's nothing like regular friendly chats with other women. They're good for the soul. Gregg usually stays off in another room, messing around on the Internet and watching YouTube videos when my girlfriends come over. Of course he comes out once or twice to say hi and to grab some food, but otherwise he leaves us to it. We're planning a movie night soon, which will be a first for us, and I'm beginning to think of having a small holiday get together next month that the husbands will be invited to.

And Marco loves Marla and Martina. He goes from one to another, sitting on their shoulders, preening their hair, saying some of his best phrases ("Hey baby" and "Watcha doin'? are his favs) and laughing whenever we laugh. It's pretty cute! The dogs adore the girls, too, especially Marla--she's been around since before we even had Ginger. The whole family is happy when friends come over--even the furred and feathered members!

Friends, near and far

Yesterday was such a great day for me. My dear friend Meg was in the area visiting for the first time in almost 2 years. She moved to Texas at the beginning of 2012 because her husband got a job offer there, and I've missed her so much. Chatting and sharing pictures on Facebook just isn't the same. Her little girl, who was a 1 year old baby when they left is now a spunky 3 year old. This past June, a baby brother joined the family. I was so excited to see both of the kids, and their lovely mama, too!

They were in Greenville, SC visiting Meg's in laws for the Thanksgiving holiday. Another member of our circle of friends, Marla, went with me to see everyone. Round trip it was about a 5 hour drive, but totally worth it. We had so much fun catching up with Meg, playing with her little girl (who of course didn't remember us at all and was very shy at first) and meeting the baby boy. I admit I was a bit of a baby hog all day, but the chubby little fellow was so cheerful and sweet that I hated giving him up! We got to go to lunch with Meg, and then we spent a few hours back at the house just hanging out. It was a wonderful day.

I have tomorrow and the next day (Thanksgiving) off. Gregg and I decided to cook at home for the holiday this year. Tomorrow will be spent straightening the house and shopping for the meal. Tomorrow night, I will be making some dishes ahead of time, and Marla is coming over for drinks and to hang out while I cook. (We got tipsy together last year while I cooked on the night before Thanksgiving, and we decided to make it a tradition, it was so much fun!) Then Thanksgiving Day will be very quiet and private, dinner for two and a cozy day spent at home.

Sometimes I can feel a bit melancholy this time of year. Gregg's and my combined family is small and (sadly) not very close, and during the holidays when everyone is having big family dinners and gatherings it can feel kind of lonely to be just two people. Last week I was feeling down, and the thought of the impending holiday season just made me depressed. Spending time this week with my friends was just what I needed to give my spirits a lift!

So today, as Thanksgiving approaches, I am feeling thankful for the good friends I have to share my life with. Good friends near and far.